Fat and Happy

Have I ever mentioned my love of cookies? Chocolate Chip, no nuts, type of cookies? Maybe, once or twice or even three times...okay, maybe even more than that, but you get the picture.

Well, last night Claire and I were supposed to go golfing. The impending storm made that plan unexecutable, so she just came over to my place, had dinner, played Wii, went for a walk AND MADE ME SOME COOKIES.

Not only did that beautiful woman bake me some Homemade Chocolate Chip Cookies with no nuts, she also made extra batter so that I could have a couple of hot, fresh Homemade Chocolate Chip Cookies with no nuts anytime I want during the week.

How sweet is that? How sweet is she?

I think I am in love...yes, with both her and the Homemade Chocolate Chip Cookies with no nuts.

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And to add to the nature vs. nurture debate...last time we visited Claire's family in South Louisiana, her mom had a Tupperware full of Homemade Chocolate Chip Cookies with no nuts just sitting in the fridge waiting to be cooked and consumed by me.

How cool is Claire's mom?

Way cool.

The Break Up

Claire broke up with me last night...but I did not know about it.

She called her sister Sarah while I was out coaching volleyball.

She said that she was done with me.

Sarah pooped her pants in sadness.*

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What brought this on?

I baked cookies. I wanted some chocolate chip cookies, so I baked. I never bake. I generally dislike baking. Way too much measuring. Cooking is great, baking, not so much.

Apparently Claire really liked the cookies. So she was done with me.

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Sarah asked why and Claire told her that I was better at sports, cleaning and cooking. She said I was so much funnier than anyone* and that I clearly was the smarter one*.

The one thing she felt that she had over me was that she was a better baker than me.

Apparently my cookies tasted better, to her, than the cookies she has been baking.

She had enough of me.

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We did make up and she took me back.

Sarah changed her pants*.





*All starred items may or may not be a figment of my imagination, so it is safe to consider them completely made up.

Meme, Tagged? Huh?

So I go out of town for 2 1/2 days and I get tagged twice...what is tagged? I dunno, so I set off to find out...

Turns out it is a way for other bloggers to find out more about you and you about them. 7 things 'bout you to share to the world...so, thanks "Ex" and "WHPH"...

#1. I am a baseball freak...Yes, it is like a disease for me...my undergrad thesis was titled "Offensive Output in Major League Baseball and its Correlation the Economic Cycle of the United States". I read about baseball year round...I go to games...I go to spring training...I have played in baseball (NOT SOFTBALL!!!) leagues for the better part of the last 12 years...I know minor league players and what they are projected to do in the majors. I follow trade rumors and front office moves...and this whole steroid scandal is painful for me. Yes, it does get in the way sometimes...yes, I probably do spend way to much time on it, but it is one of my passions. I love it.

#2. I don't like reality TV, however Rob and Big have sucked me in. For the past couple of years, my "Little Brother" would say things like "Do Work" and would call me "Son"...besides trying to figure out why this punk, 8 years my junior, was calling me son, this do work thing kept cracking me up. Then, one day he mentions Rob and Big...more specifically their purchase of a mini horse...I had to see this. Since then, I have watched every episode and most of them more than once. "Do Work" is pretty standard lexicon for me now and I have converted at least 5 or 6 people into fans. Sure, these guys are punks and most of their stunts are set up, but the interaction between the two absolutely crack me up and I can't get enough.

#3. I got a BA in History without reading one, single book. That is right...I never, not once, read a book in college. Sure, I skimmed or highlighted or reviewed, but I never sat down and read a book...assigned or otherwise. Looking back on it makes me a bit embarrassed, both for me and for my institution of higher learning. I did fine in school and graduated in 4 years, despite changing schools 3 times and two different majors. Yes, I have read books since...actually have become something of an avid reader. I even went back and read most of the books I was assigned back then, but until I was 25 years old, books were not for me. That of course leads me to...

#4. I love Harry Potter. It certainly was not love at first sight though...I was leaving for a week-long business trip and had nothing to watch on plane. I had finished all my magazines and newspapers and really did not know what I was going to do for 5 hours. My friend suggested Harry Potter...I laughed but said okay. I finished the book, but did not find it all that great. The very next week, I was in the same predicament. Nothing to read/watch and another 5 hour flight. I grabbed book 2 and got sucked in. Then book 3 was amazing, book 4 was sick, and I had to wait for book 5 to get published. Utter agony. Then it came out. I hated it. Actually thought I must have missed something so I read it again. Still sucked. Book 6 redeemed the series for me and book 7 was a bit hokey, but fun...I have read them all multiple times and have seen all the movies. I can also say, that thanks to HP, I love to read. It juiced me up to go read all the books I missed in college, to grab books for most trips, and to open up to many different cool things...books that I have loved include Einstein's Dreams, Velvet Elvis: Repainting the Christian Faith, and Moneyball.

#5. I wish I could be a rock star. Either a drummer or a singer, preferably both...like Don Henley. Yes, probably more than being a Major League Baseball third basemen. I don't know why...it is not like I long for the Rocker lifestyle or anything like that...I just wish I had that talent. Maybe it is because I have been reasonably decent at sports most of my life and can't seem to really sing a lick. Sure, I can keep a beat and probably could play drums for church with some practice, but to be able to be a rock star??? Wow-wee that would be soooo very cool.

#6. I am a romantic. I know, I know...it is sick when a guy 6'5 and weighing in at a 1/8 of a ton (no really, I am not fat...just big boned), gets all sappy and lovey-dovey, but that is who I am. I enjoy many chick-flicks, love to send flowers or ice cream...I live to give little gifts, just because, I send love notes and I typically remember birthday's, anniversary's, and other important dates. It always makes me happy to have a candle lit dinner...I like to cuddle...I guess I am chickish in many ways...a very large chick, but chickish nonetheless. Nah, let's stick to romantic. That sounds so much better.

#7. Homemade Chocolate Chip cookies make me happier than just about anything...No nuts please. Seriously...there are few other things in this world that make me happier. I love, plain old cookies...Nestle Toll house recipe is great. Of course, putting any kind of nuts in the cookie will ruin it. No, I don't want to pick through them, I just don't want them in there bastardizing my treat. I don't need fancy. Chocolate Chunk does nothing for me and designer ones never seem to be better...just give me a couple of the warm Chocolate Chip, homemade cookies and I will be yours forever.

There...you happy? 7 things you probably don't know about me...now I guess I am supposed to tag some people...I will tag Stacey and she will do it...I will tag Chris and I think he might...beyond that, I don't know many other bloggers. The other blogs I read with any regularity have already been tagged, so it seems rather weird to tag them again...

Answering Two RFI's

Fulfilling two requests...

#1...from my very good friend Stacey...8 things:


Eight Favorite TV Shows
1. My Name is Earl
2. The Office
3. Top Chef
4. 30 Rock
5. Iron Chef
6. Bizarre Foods
7. The Colbert Report
8. CBS Sunday Morning


Eight Favorite Restaurants

1. Pamplemousse Grille
2. Commander's Palace
3. Szechuan Mandarin
4. N9ne Steakhouse
5. Georgetown Cupcakes
6. Di-Chan Thai Restaurant
7. Todd Jurich's Bistro
8. My own kitchen


Eight Things that Happened Yesterday

1. Volleyball
2. Dinner with Claire
3. Read the Wall Street Journal
4. Cooked a pizza
5. Visited the chiropractor
6. Fixed my car stereo
7. Had a lunch of roast duck, kous kous and hot wings
8. Made myself sick on gourmet popcorn


Eight Things to Look Forward to:

1. Kickball
2. Thanksgiving
3. Christmas
4. Claire's parents visiting for a week
5. My buddy Teddy coming up for Thanksgiving weekend
6. The Disney Goofy Challenge
7. Getting a job
8. Wedding


Eight Things on my Wish List

1. New Job
2. Moving out of an apartment
3. Flat Screen
4. Having Claire as my wife
5. A Yellow Toyota FJ...with the roof racks!
6. Jumping out of a plane
7. Finishing my masters
8. Chocolate Chip Cookies


Eight Things I Love About Fall:

1. Cooler weather
2. The smell of fires in fireplace
3. Pumpkin everything!!
4. Getting ready for Christmas
5. Time with family and friends
6. Christmas Music
7. Thanksgiving
8. October baseball, college football and the NFL


#2 from reader Stacie...6 Random Things...


1. I sleep on my back
2. I am a morning person
3. I have a crazy obsession for all things chocolate chip cookies (with NO NUTS!)
4. I have a cigar humidor, despite only smoking five or six cigars a year.
5. I like the taste of a good scotch, tequila, vodka and rum, yet I can still count on one hand how many times I have had too much to drink.
6. I pray, multiple times every day.

Happy Valentines Day...

Because you asked me for a hair tie even though I wear a navy style hair cut...

Because you don't laugh at me when I dance...

Because you make me my favorite chocolate chip cookies, with no nuts, and let me eat the batter, eat the cookies as they come out of the oven, and eat a 1/2 dozen more before we put them away.

Because you love to entertain and get excited over the prospect of having friends and/or family over for dinner, the weekend, or for just a visit.

Because you will exercise with me. Not just going through the motions, but really train and run and work out...and you talk to me the whole time.

Because you get nervous when meeting my friends and family even though I keep telling you that they will love you...and I am right.

Because you are a great travel companion.

Because you are just as happy sleeping on an air mattress, eating lunch from a street vendor, and walking everywhere as you are when we stay at a 4 star hotel, eating truffles and riding in a limo...and in a similar vain, that you showed me the greatness that is Chick-fil-a Polynesian Sauce mixed with Mayonnaise, boudin, Sonic, and all the other cool foods that we try.

Because you enjoy giving me a back rub.

Because you let me drive and then you don't fall asleep in the car unless you are really, really tired.

Because you humor me when I go off on tangents and you engage me in conversation about things that matter to me like God, politics, and philosophy.

Because you found us a church that fits our personality so very well and that you get super excited to go.

Because you are willing to challenge your faith, my faith, and our beliefs, constantly seeking to learn more and become more mature in what we believe.

Because you support me and my dreams...whether it is to run for congress or to run a church, you are 100% on board.

Because you love to serve your country, volunteered to fight in a war, and have shot machine guns and grenade launchers. I cannot ever express how in awe I am of that...no, not just the guns.

Because you believe that love is a daily choice, one that you can make last forever and one that you want to make last forever. Even the romantic love. Kisses at red lights, holding hands at the grocery store, and touching feet under the dinner table.

Because you laugh at my jokes no matter how many times I tell them and you don't care that I might be a little silly more often than not.

Because you remind me to call my mom, my brother, my sisters, my friends.

Because you love your family.

Because your sisters and your mom are your best friends.

Because you challenge me to be a better friend, Christian, cook, driver, thinker, companion, person...

Because you make me smile.

Because you really are "nothing but trouble"...

Happy Valentines Day...

L...M

Second Happiest Place on Earth

Claire left last night for Orlando...It is the Food and Wine Expo at Disney, so her family is going to be doing the whole Disney thing for a week.

Lucky me, I get to join them on Tuesday!

I have never been to Disney in Florida except to run through it...I grew up with Disneyland in SoCal and always figured the original was the best. I guess I am about to find out.

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What did I do with my bachelor night?

I watched Playoff Baseball and Sunday Night Football...I ate spicy sausage...I drank Scotch.

Good Times....Good Times.

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I baked some cookies I got from Ramblings, Rants and Recipes. They are Toffee Chocolate Chip Cookies....cause that is what bachelors do on the first morning their significant other is out of town.

I actually had to make them for my Volleyball team because they swept both matches last week...

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And if any of you are wondering...Costco, according to my sister, is the Happiest Place on Earth!

Welcome Back Bogart

Four.

It is a good number. Foursomes on the golf course...four chocolate chip cookies...four kids...four seats...reservations for four. With four people you can play beach volleyball all day. Amusement parks sell "Four Pack" tickets with special pricing. Four leaf clovers are lucky. Four strips of bacon make a mean sandwich.

It is an even number. It has a square root. Four.

Nice. Solid. Good.

Not when that is the temperature. Four. That is what the thermometer read as we got out of the car on Friday night in Northern Michigan. Four.

That is wrong on so many levels. It should be illegal. Four degrees.

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The snow mobile trip was amazing. We got in late Friday night...stayed up way too late chatting with our friends, then hit the road early Saturday morning. We went from town to town, through back roads, cruising on the snow, hitting in excess of 65mph. It was niiiicccceeee.

Saturday night was spent in the spa, sipping a nice glass of port. That is high-falutin livin.

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Spent the rest of the week in Washington D.C. Sorry for the lack of updates, but it was a work conference that had me running from 7am until 11 every night. No blogg'n for Bogart.

I will get pictures from our trip up next week.

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Last night, Claire and I met for dinner/happy hour at a restaurant called Todd Jurich's Bistro. It was very enjoyable and the food was great. I did notice one thing though...just about everyone in there was a "regular". You know, like on Cheers when Norm walked in everyone yelled "Norm"!

We were surrounded by regulars...there was Mike who drank Crown and Coke before dinner and wine with it. Robert who did his best to look cool for the hostess and the bartender and the waitress and any other female that happened to be in the vicinity. Susan had the glass of Pinot Grigio poured for her before she even sat down.

I can't decide if that is really cool or really sad. On the one hand, I think it would be neat to be a regular. Walk in and everyone knows your name. You don't have to worry about what you want to eat or drink because the waitress and bartender already know. You probably get special treatment...bigger glasses of wine, special food dishes, discounts, etc. It is comfortable and makes you happy.

But that also means that you probably spend WAY TOO MUCH TIME in a bar/restaurant. There are so many other places in town to go. I mean, I would never have found that tiny little Thai place on Granby if we were always going back to Todd's. I think I might miss out on some great food, great experiences, and great times.

What do you think? To be or not to be a regular?

The Countdown

72 - Hours my work email has been down this week...ugh

61 - Times I laughed out loud while watching the office last night

32 - Years old as of Wednesday

22 - Phone calls wishing me a happy birthday

21 - Really nice comments left on my birthday post

19 - Birthday related texts

15 - Hours Claire spent flying on Tuesday to attend a 2-hour appointment on the West Coast and then back in time for my birthday.

12 - Homemade, birthday, chocolate chip cookies, no nuts, eaten in the last 10 hours.

7 - Friends at my surprise birthday dinner thrown by Claire

4 - Hours spent hanging out at the beach with Claire for my birthday afternoon

3 - Dozen oysters and wings we ate at the surprise birthday dinner

2 - Trips to the store on Thursday night for ingredients to make gluten free carrot cake for our Wii date on Friday

1 - Happy, happy man...with an upset stomach

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Whew, after writing all that, I think a deserve a chocolate chip cookie, or two.

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Did y'all see this?

It is about Dooce.com, a blogger that is getting 1 million hits a month writing about motherhood and everyday life. I have read her blog a few times and I can tell you that she is very well written.

I know that a lot of people will focus on the $40k per month she brings in due to ad revenue, but I would rather note that she has honed her abilities as a writer. Much like a good book, readers can get sucked in very easily and can't put it down.

While I am not one of dooce's regular readers, there are a couple of blogs that I check more often than I probably should. I would love to see them start generating a million hits a month. Have y'all checked out:

William over at Poop and Boogies

Whit at Honea Express

Scarlett at I'm No Belle

Anne Nahm

SoCal and Norway

I had a chance to visit Southern California this past week. Claire left for Norway on Saturday, so I decided to head back “home” for a few days.

It was a nice respite from the day-to-day in VA…Had lunch with a friend at a rock’n taco shop, got to spend the afternoon with my Goddaughter, her sister and her parents, my great friends Steve and Stacey…Had a night of poker with my buddies, which included just my second cigar of 2009, was able to go to the church that I helped found back in 2004 and even got to have breakfast with my Bubble-Headed buddy Derek and his wonderful family…then to the OC for some family time.

That was also glorious…plenty of chocolate chip cookies and an ample amount of avocado for consumption…got to hang with Pops, play games with Gma and spend some quality time with mom. Even got to see all the siblings (save the one in MN).

All-in-all a great trip, but one thing was missing…the beautiful woman I call my wife.

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A week without hearing her voice is way to long. I don’t know what I would do if she were called up to active duty and then deployed again…that would personify suckiness!

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Luckily I am now in Norway with my lovely bride. She is working and I am touring, but I do get every evening with her and we do have some free time together.

I really do live a blessed life!

The Wedding

Claire and I boarded a plane to New Orleans about 10 days ago to visit her family and help prepare for her youngest sister's wedding. It was a great week that had us going nonstop just about every day. Neither Claire, nor I have quite recovered from the constant running we did, but boy was it worth it.

The rehearsal dinner was great. We went to this new restaurant called Chef Ed's and they had us all set up in the back room. Problem was the back room was hotter than Tommy Lasorda after a Dodger loss, so we all picked up tables, chairs and place settings and went outside. How cool is that? The waitress was shocked, but it worked out well, sitting out on the back porch on a warm Louisiana night. The food was amazing and it was a good time. If you are ever in South Louisiana, make sure to grab a meal there.

That night I was kicked out of Claire's parents home and sent to stay with the groom. Something about a bunch of girls running around the house on Saturday in various states of undress...whatever. Jerks.

Actually it worked out well. Kyle and I get along very well and we had an enjoyable night and morning, hanging with his brothers and father...YEAH BUDDY!

The wedding was beautiful. The church looked great and I don't think it had ever had so many people in it!

The reception turned out EXACTLY as they wanted it with plenty of food and drink...and some weird fascination with line dancing...

Despite my best efforts, the Dance Competition I was challenged to and wrote about back in March never happened. The challenger chickened out the minute he saw my helicopter and worm...he would not even step one foot on the floor. I am therefore the Southwest Louisiana May 31st Dance Champ. I should get a trophy or something.

As I mentioned last week, we got to see the Blue Dog exhibit at the New Orleans Museum of Art. But we also had an amazing time doing things like eating meals at her grandfather's house, opening presents, enjoying her mother's cooking, eating cookies, eating out...are you noticing a theme here? Yes, I really did throw on 5lbs during the time we were down there.

Anyway, here are a few photos of Claire and me...

I can't wait until our next trip. We ALWAYS have so much fun down there. I really enjoy all of her family and they seem to enjoy my weird brand of sarcasm.

Congratulations to Sarah and Kyle...Thank you for letting me be a part of the fun week and wonderful day! I hope God continues to bless you as you embark on this next stage of your journey...and other miscellaneous words of encouragement and love...

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Thanks Pamela for donating your room to me for the week. I hope you know how much I appreciated it!

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And if any of you are still reading at this point, make sure to click on this little story about a bar fight Pamela might have been a party to...she rocks!

Thanksgiving...Woot Woot

On this day...my second favorite holiday...I hope you find things to be thankful for...not just the cliched things, but also the little things that only you know how dear they are.

I am thankful this day for the big things...friends and family, a God that loves me and a country I am proud to be a part of...I am thankful this day for little things like baseball and chocolate chip cookies, good coffee, sushi, good music and garlic mashed potatoes...I am thankful for silly things like online bill pay, the Wall Street Journal and Blogging. I am also thankful for the life that I have been entrusted with...

I am especially thankful this year because I know what it is to be loved by someone who doesn't "have" to love me...someone who chose me...someone who said yes when I cheesily asked her to marry me.

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On Friday, I will be continuing a tradition that I stole from some good friends of mine...I am going to buy a Christmas tree, decorate it and sing Christmas songs all day.

I will then put presents under the tree to taunt Claire.

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Scotty and I are supposed to be doing a Turkey Trot on Friday morning...that should be fun.

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I hope your Thanksgiving is great!

Evil in the Form of a Woman

I had a craving for Steak on Sunday, so after volleyball practice I headed to the local market.

I picked up my steak, a small package of chocolate chip cookies with no nuts and 2 boxes of Smacks (What? They were on sale!) and was walking towards the register.

It was then that it happened.

A young woman, dressed to impress, carrying a package of energy drinks, looked me up and down...I was wearing a very sweaty, bright orange t-shirt, gym shorts and some flip flops. It was clear that I was not "dressed to impress", but looking (and smelling) rather gross.

She walks next to me, puts her hand on my shoulder and says "you are a beautiful man."

Shell shocked, I smile, say thanks and left.

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Ladies, when you say something like that to a guy, what is the appropriate response?

A. "Thanks. I know I am beautiful. In fact, I am hot. No, not just sweaty hot, but really hot. Would you like to see me flex my calves?"

B. "Wow, you need to get your eyes checked."

C. "Get behind me Satan."

D. "I will make sure to pass that along to my parents. Clearly their genes matched well."

E. "I know. Claire tells me all the time. You know Claire. My girlfriend."

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Maybe I should ask a more pointed question...

"Claire, how would you like me to handle this type of situation in the future?"

Pool Day One

I am gonna die.

You are not gonna die.

I can’t breathe.

You can breathe You are just tired and out of shape.

No, I can’t breathe. I think the pool water-boarded me. I am going to drown.

You are holding onto the side of the pool, standing in 4 feet of water. You are not going to drown.

Michael Phelps is not human.

That is true, but don’t change the subject. You have 14 more laps to do. Now get on it, Chubby.

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I see the hand of God reaching down from Heaven, hearkening me onward.

No you don’t. Stop making stuff up, you have 8 more laps. Get on it.

This sucks. Who chooses to do this? At least with running, I know that I won’t die…being in the pool is bringing death upon me. My lungs are filling with water. It is over for me. I hope Claire knows that I thought of her in my last moments.

You are not going to die. Will you knock it off? Just get those last laps done…there is no shame in doggie paddling the last little bit.

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I don’t think I can ever do this again!

How are you going to do the triathlon if you can’t swim a mile?

I don’t like your logic right now.

Cause you know I’m right. My half of the brain is always right.

Shut up. Emotions need to be coddled right now. I think I might still die. Only a big hoagie and some chocolate chip cookies will make me feel better.

Kings of Leon are Stalking Me

Ever have a song follow you? It can be a little strange.

That happened to me yesterday.

I put on some music in the morning and the Kings of Leon song Use Somebody was playing.

I said to myself, "Self, I like that song. Let's go to iTunes and download it." So I went to iTunes and listened to it there. Then I downloaded it. It played as I downloaded it.

That makes it 3 times I had heard it in about 10 minutes.

A couple of hours later, I hopped into the car to head to the gym and what song that was playing? Yup, Use Somebody by Kings of Leon.

I arrived at the gym. It was playing there.

I got home, flipped on an Internet radio station and it was the second song I heard.

At 230, I left for Volleyball practice. The song played on two different radio stations during my 25 minute drive.

Sorta sick of it by this point.

I am regretting the iTunes purchase.

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On Friday, I baked a pumpkin cake...had some extra pumpkin, so I baked pumpkin cookies.

They both were fantastalicious!

Except that I ate so much of each that I am now orange and becoming very round.

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My wife has invited me to a date on Thursday.

She would like us to go see the 12:01am showing of Where the Wild Things Are.

I have not gone to a 12:01 showing since early college.

I am not a night person.

Neither is she.

It should be interesting.

She Did Not Run Away!!

Happy Anniversary Love...

One year ago today we said "I Do".

I am a blessed man.

Is there anything else to say?

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Sure, I could talk about how amazing you are.

How you are a great baker...yes, that is the first thing I mention, because it is unlikely to go away and I love me some cookies.

How you have great taste in men...what, you like self-confidence.

How you...I better stop there. Most of the rest is self serving or, well, frankly not suitable for families or you mom to read about. (Love to J in L-Towne)

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Thank you for a wonderful year. I look forward to a bunch more...no, I am not going to put a number on it, but let's just say a lot!

Lucky US...as in USA

"Sorry to bother you, but any chance you have some Ketchup?"

These, apparently are words that Danes don't like...

You know the Danes...the people from Denmark...the ones that speak flawless English, have a very educated society, and love America...famous Danes you may know include Hans Christian Andersen, Pianist Victor Borge, and philosopher Søren Aabye Kierkegaard...

So, my buddy Jeff, my beautiful Lady Friend Claire, and I were eating in this cool little cafe in Copenhagen last Friday. Nice lighting, hip crowd, and sweet locale all told us that this was going to be a good lunch...the food did not disappoint, but the service, well, let's just say in the US someone might have gotten fired...or punched in the nose.

There was a little inattentiveness, that happens...some sighing when we placed our order, understandable since Claire and I were sharing a meal and only wanted water...even some eye rolling when I changed my mind and asked for a Coke...but, when we asked for Ketchup, we apparently had crossed the line.

"Sorry to bother you, but any chance you have some Ketchup?"

A huff...you know the strong exhale through the nose.

The eye roll...parents of teenagers know this one well.

The head shake...side-to-side in disbelief.

The stomping off...much like a 4 year old told that she can't have cookies

All of those things happened...but the Ketchup did not appear.

Some eating continued. I finished my coke, Jeff finished his beer, the sunset...then the waiter appeared...no ketchup.

Tried to get his attention, but to no avail. Clearly he is ignoring us. He passed by with someone else's order, then walked right by, back to the kitchen.

2 minutes later he comes back...not with a nice little ramekin full of ketchup...not a table size glass or plastic bottle...not even the squeeze bottle most of us have at home...no, he comes with the kitchen bottle. The one that has been in the kitchen for months. Big as a house plant, 2/3rds used, with ketchup remnants all over the cap.

Does he set it down on the table? Nope. He slams it with authority. Enough to jump a fork off the table and make little children in the street cry.

Dude had some tude and I did not know what to do. When you are in a foreign country, you hesitate to use American discussion techniques. What if it is uncouth to complain? I don't want to offend people, especially since Jeff lives in that city... We can't just take away his tip, that is built into the price of the food and tacked on your bill with the 25% sales tax.

Let's just say that if this happened at my local Bennigan's or Appleby's, there would be some strong words for the waiter and his boss...probably would have gotten the bill taken care of...instead, we sheepishly paid the bill (we were overcharged by 20kr, but did not want to cause any more of scene), and walked out...it still bugs me...I hate the fact I could not really say anything and, as Jeff pointed out, even if we did, nothing would come of it. There is no punishment, it is very hard to be fired, and the servers don't care because they are getting paid $18 per hour regardless of the service.

Harrumph.........

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Denmark is a great country and one that I highly recommend new travelers head to (I will write more about this later), so please don't let this one little episode deter anyone. Okay, there were other service related episodes, but I generally think that Americans are used to things that other countries are not...for example, in the US, we are often hurried through dinner and given the check before we are done...in Europe, meals can take hours and the waiter will only bring the check when you ask. There are times for both, but without knowing that, Americans can seem rude and demanding, while the European counterparts can seem slow and inattentive...little cultural differences...

The Baconater and a Slip-n-slide

Claire and I met Mr. Peanut this weekend. You know Mr. Peanut as the mascot for that one peanut company. Mr. Peanut was very nice. He told Claire and me all about Suffolk, VA, was really happy to pose for pictures with us, and even shared some coconut peanut brittle with us. I was surprised that he treated us so well even after the face Claire made at him when she tasted a raw peanut for the very first time.


After our tour of Suffolk, we had a little BBQ at a friends house to celebrate the end of softball. The Bridge/Monumental team was not very good, but we took losing well and always had a good time together.

Our manager Bob invited everyone over to his home to have a grill out, a bonfire and a SLIP-N-SLIDE...you know, for the kids. HA.

By the time the 8 kids were getting tired of it, 4 of the players decided it was time to take it over. I won't share all the pics (this is a family friendly blog and nobody needs to see that), but as you can see, this homemade slip-n-slide was well used by the end of the day!

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I was given a nice little blog award this weekend from Practically Joe over at Practically Wisdom. Joe has been a contributor to my comments for a while now and has a very enjoyable and unique blog. Pop on over and say hey....thanks for the award Joe!!

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Bacon and eggs on Saturday morning.

Bacon sandwich for lunch.

Bacon sandwich for breakfast Sunday morning.

Bacon sandwich for breakfast Monday morning.

Now I am out of bacon and I am sad.

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My other culinary treats this weekend included a chocolate covered macaroon, a chocolate dream bar, 3 chocolate chip cookies, 5 chocolate mint brownies, 1 piece of marble pound cake, 1 1/2 hamburgers, 2 hot dogs, 1/4lb of coconut peanut brittle, 1/4lb of chocolate covered peanut brittle, 1 tomato sandwich, uncountable amounts of chocolate chip cookie dough, and finally some Sushi on Sunday night to be healthy.

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I might have to wear scrubs and other clothes with elastic waist bands for a while.

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Finally, one of my favorite little clips...and it happens to have some bacon in it. "I just like that story."

December 25th Recap

Coffee and Stockings are how my Christmas morning started...and it just keep getting better from there...My good buddy (who may or may not be the infamous Teddy) drove in from NC on Christmas Eve and spent the day at my place with Claire and me...We had so much fun!

The stockings were full of really cool things like styrofoam airplanes, fart whistles, magazine subscriptions, loofahs, liqueur and even this really cool book...I can't wait to make a water bomb, tan a hide, and build a go-cart!

We raced our new drifting cars and generally busted them up...my buddy's front axle broke about 2 minutes before he left to drive back home...I think the two things might be related.

In the afternoon, we had some friends over for dinner...A honey ham, green bean casserole, Yiftee's, and Yellow Corn Grits adorned our table...for dessert we had homemade cookies, brownies, and the best Egg-Nog Ever!!

The day ended perfectly with Claire and I alone, sitting on the couch, grazing on leftovers and watching the Nativity Story (which, by the way, was very well done and we enjoyed it a lot...looking forward to watching it again next year!).

It was a wonderful day that had some wonderful traditions started (watching Nativity Story) and others carried on (eating Yiftee's) and a day that was almost perfect. Yes, Claire and I both spoke of missing our families...A LOT. This, being my first Christmas away from the fam in SoCal, was difficult at times, but I managed...I was surrounded by great friends, great food, and an even better woman!

I am sad that Christmas is over...I love the 4-5 weeks between the fourth Thursday in November and December 25th...the lights, the wishing people "Merry Christmas" and general festivity that seems to surround everything I get into...It will be missed again, but I am relieved to know that it is only 11 months away again!

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On Thursday, Claire and I are off to Copenhagen, Denmark...we are going to see my good friends Jeff & Dorthe for New Year's. We are so figg'n excited...we have a new portable DVD player to use on the flight (Thanks Janet & Marty!), exit row seating (Thanks Continental Gold Card), and an adventure waiting to be had. I think there will be a day in Sweden, a short hop to Germany, and a lot of walking around the cool city of Copenhagen. It is cold (try 30's with snow flurries), but we will manage. Hot Toddy's and steaming coffee will be mandatory.

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With all that being written, let me wish all 3 of my readers a very MERRY CHRISTMAS for one last time...Happy New Year seems a bit premature...

Not Everything is Created Equal

A couple of years ago, my brother, a couple of friends and I went to the Whiskies of the World Expo in San Fransisco. It was GREAT! We sampled over 100 different scotch's, and got to try some high-end tequilas an bourbons. We chatted with the distillers, made friends, and got to sample a few "Private Stashes". We even went to a discussion on pairing cigars with scotch. We had so much fun!

So, with that memory in mind, I signed my brother, pop's, and myself up for the Cigar Aficionado's Big Smoke Las Vegas. It promised to be fun and enlightening and crazy good. Instead, the event was crowded, loud, and more like a cattle call than an expo.

First, the cool things...Pop's, James, and I looked good...

The three of us had a great time hanging out together...eating some sweet food (you know, cookies, doughnuts, and the Golden Nugget's world famous Bread Pudding), enjoying the craps tables, and even sampling some of our Cigar Samples...okay, they really weren't samples, per se, but rather the real deal full smokes...very nice pull! Actually came home with over 50 cigars! I need a bigger humidor.

We got to sample some great Rums and even a new offering from the folks at Crown Royal, Cask 16. That stuff was serious good, especially for a blend.

The bad...well, we arrived just as the doors were opening. Sure, I expected it to be a bit crowded, but HOLY COW...there were 3000 people in line. It wrapped around the convention center, then doubled back, and there were two lines on either side!

When we finally walked in, they handed us a canvas bag and a coupon book. Each page of the book was numbered and had a cigar manufacturer's name on it. I think they even slapped us on the butt and yelled "GO" when we passed through...although that could have been the cross dresser named "Bobby" we hung out with, but that is an entirely different story for an entirely different time.

Anyway, we were expected to walk through this maze-o-booths, wade through the crowds, turn in our appropriate numbered coupon and they would graciously give us a cigar...No, we did not get to chat with the owners or cigar makers. No, I did not learn anything about cigars. No, I did not even get a chance to cash in all my coupons...Did I mention it was crowded?

We did however, get a chance to chat with a watch maker, hold a $100,000 watch, try on a $45,000 one, and fall in love with a $10,000 Diamond Encrusted Timepiece. Now, how does this relate to the Big Smoke? I don't know, but that part was pretty cool!

So for all of you that were "jealous" about me going to this event, be more jealous that my brother, pops, and I got to be in Vegas for a vacation weekend, play some roulette/craps/video poker, see a Cirque show, and generally have a great time...but please, don't be envious of the Friday night event...It was certainly no W.O.W. Convention. Anyone interested in joining me next spring?

I Learn...

Back from the 9 day trip to South Louisiana. Pictures, a recap, and other assorted fine-ness to come later this week...for know I thought I would share things I learned while down there...

1. I don't know anything about heat...sure, I have been in the desert at 117 degrees and complained, but that really has nothing on 90-and-90 in New Orleans. Wowee.

2. Claire's youngest sister Sarah looked like a princess during her wedding.

3. I am at least 10-strokes better at golf than Claire's dad...I say "at least" because I was playing with clubs that were 1 1/2 inches too short, on a course that I had never played, and in weather my linebacker body was not made for and I still managed a 10-stroke win.

4. I enjoy golfing with Claire's dad and there are not many people I say that about.

5. When sitting around with the guys and nobody has said anything for a min or so, "Yeah, buddy" is an acceptable silence breaker. No, not in response to anything, just a random "yeah, buddy" while staring off into space is okay.

6. Claire's grandfather can cook some mean bbq sausage.

7. The worm should not be attempted by anyone over 30. Sure, it was my signature move on the dance floor back in the 90's, but that ground is not so soft anymore.

8. Southern Hospitality is a real thing.

9. I rock at Wii bowling, but am terrible at Wii boxing.

10. Grooms at Southern Weddings get their own cake. How cool is that? I think, if I get married, I will have a grooms cake made out of homemade Chocolate Chip Cookies (with no nuts!!!).

and finally,

11. There is a lot of pressure when you catch the garter at a wedding...especially when you combine that with the girlfriend pulling the ring out of the cake.