Claire broke up with me last night...but I did not know about it.
She called her sister Sarah while I was out coaching volleyball.
She said that she was done with me.
Sarah pooped her pants in sadness.*
What brought this on?
I baked cookies. I wanted some chocolate chip cookies, so I baked. I never bake. I generally dislike baking. Way too much measuring. Cooking is great, baking, not so much.
Apparently Claire really liked the cookies. So she was done with me.
Sarah asked why and Claire told her that I was better at sports, cleaning and cooking. She said I was so much funnier than anyone* and that I clearly was the smarter one*.
The one thing she felt that she had over me was that she was a better baker than me.
Apparently my cookies tasted better, to her, than the cookies she has been baking.
She had enough of me.
We did make up and she took me back.
Sarah changed her pants*.
*All starred items may or may not be a figment of my imagination, so it is safe to consider them completely made up.