Thursday, July 30, 2009

Bad Jokes and Bacon

I picked up some clothes from the cleaners today.

As I was paying, the dude behind the counter says to me:

"I really like your shirts. They are very nice. If they would have fit me, I would have kept them and told you they were lost in the cleaning process."



Loving the new car, but I hesitated to drive it this morning because my clothes smelled like bacon. Normally, bacon is the greatest smell you will get to enjoy during the day, but the thought of ruining the new car smell in the Forester was making me worry about getting in the driver's seat.


Received my shipment of Bacon Salt today.

'cause everything should taste like bacon!

Monday, July 27, 2009

Claire and I Have a Kid!!

Claire's birthday was yesterday and it was a great day for me!

We had driven up to DC (via a car dealership in for clunkers worked for me...more on that later this week) to celebrate her birthday. We woke up Sunday morning, ate at a great little French Bakery/Bistro (the same one as July 4, 2008) and went to the National Zoo. Then we took Anthony Bourdain's recommendation and stopped at a fish market to get some fresh crabs. (No William...not that kind of crabs!)
Then we headed off to Nationals' Ballpark to watch the Padres play the Nationals.

While we were at the park, Claire over heard a security guard talking about kids running the bases after the game...her eyes lit up. "I want to go on the field" she says. Problem was, to the best of our knowledge, we don't have kids. But the couple behind us had 3 of them and offered to let us borrow one.

So yea, we ended up on the field.
Happy Birthday to Claire (and yay for me!)
***UPDATE 11:40am)***
The Calypso Music has started again this morning...he opened with some free form song, but he has added a mike and a louder speaker, so now I get to hear him sing!

Friday, July 24, 2009

To the Bahamas and Beyond

Every day this week I have felt like I am at a Caribbean wedding.

My apartment sits on the Elizabeth River in P-Towne. At the base of my building is a nasty Mexican restaurant. They have hired some guy to come play Calypso Music for 4-6 hours every afternoon.

His repertoire is pretty limited so I have heard steel drum versions of "Can You Feel the Love Tonight", "I'll Be There" and "I Will Always Love You" at least 3 times a day.

I am not sure if I should be sitting on a white sand beach drinking a pina colada or falling in love with my wife all over again.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Horton Drinks a Who

I have only sent one wine back at a restaurant. It was so bad.

No, it had not turned, it was simply bad wine.

Claire and I even confirmed it when we visited the winery and gave the wine a second chance.


A couple of weeks ago, Claire's book club met at our apartment. All the girls get together, bring food and wine and talk about anything other than the book they all agreed to read. Really quite cleaver.

There is always a wee bit of wine left over and occasionally an empty bottle.

That was the case this time.

The next night, we finished the opens and took a closer look at the one left unopened.

It is the same wine we sent back at the restaurant.


Tuesday, July 21, 2009

New Orleans

We spent the last week in New Orleans for Maw-Maw's funeral. It was a nice celebration of her life and I was blessed to be there.


We also got to spend some time just hanging out with the family. Quality.

We ate way to much food. Drank way to much friendship juice. Had way to much fun.

It was nice!


Saw my first gator and water moccasin in the wild. We went out on Sarah/Kyle's boat Sunday morning, pretending we knew how to fish.

2 hours later we headed over to grandaddy's for lunch, picked up some oysters/catfish/boudin for dinner and had a big cookout that night. We also slipped in some time for the remote control airplanes we had bought over at Walmart back during our New Orleans Wedding.

Those things are so cool and way worth the $30 we dropped on them!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time

File this under, It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time:

I tried to be a good husband and bake my wife an angel food cake for her book club Saturday night.

That worked well. Even got them out of the pans without much issue.

Cutting the Angel food sucks, but I finally got it to work.

There were a lot of crumbs on the counter. I LOVE Angel food cake crumbs. They are tiny morsels of goodness.

What was I to do? They could not be thrown away.

But did I, a 33 year old married man with a college degree brush them into a bowl or onto a plate so that I could eat them the right way?


I did what any 33 year old, married MAN, with a college degree would do...I stuck my lips to the counter and started inhaling them into my mouth.

It worked well for a min, but then the inhale got a little excited and shot some into my lungs.

I almost died!

I was choking. Alone.

Claire was going to find me on the kitchen floor, my fat body dead because of angel food cake.

Quick, where is a chair I could thrust myself upon? What am I thinking? I can't do that, it would hurt like heck.

Maybe if I run around, the power of the wind would dislodge it.

Or maybe if I drink, I can force water down my trachea and water down the cake.

Wait...I can breathe again.

Whew, that was a close one.

Now, back to sucking the cake off the counter.

Monday, July 13, 2009


Claire's grandmother passed away this morning.

She was 94-years old.

Maw-maw was a striking woman with a very kind heart. To the very end, all she wanted to do was to take care of the people around her and make sure they were comfortable.

I am blessed to have been able to spent some time with her over the past couple of years.

She will be missed.

She turned me into a newt...

A sixth sense, ESP, witchcraft or hidden cameras...I am not sure which, but my wife is using one of these...regularly.

How do I know this?

Because at least 3 times a week, she will call me while I am visiting the restroom. Usually within 30-Seconds of the point of no return. She knows I can't get to the phone. She knows I won't be taking the phone in with me.

It happened last Saturday...It happened last Thursday...It happened last Monday.

It happens so frequently I am really beginning to think that she is a witch.

And you all know what we do with witches, right?

Monday, July 6, 2009

Direct Correlation

I have notice that my comfort in Virginia is directly related to the relationships I have developed.

The first 6 months or so were fine, I had this hot chick to be with and had ample travel back to the left coast.

The next 6-8 months were still fine, but I longed to be back home in SoCal.

The most recent couple months have certainly ticked up...Claire and I are married and have a wonderful relationship; I have a buddy to hang with, grab fish taco's and hit the gym with; Claire and I have found two other couples we enjoy being with, a lot; we are getting involved in the leadership of our church; we have discovered that the military beni's that come with Claire's Navy Reserve commitment are rock'n...etc. etc.

This certainly, and in no way, diminishes my desire to be back home in the bosom of my beloved San Diego, but it certainly makes the time away much more enjoyable!


Claire and I hit the golf course, the driving range, the beach and a load of car dealerships this weekend. Yes, we are in the market.

I figure if the government wants to give me $4500 for my Nissan...the same Nissan I paid $2500 for 2 years ago...who am I to say no?!

We drove the Ford Flex and Edge, the Toyota FJ and the Honda Element. Not sure what we are going to do yet, but it is fun to test drive and dream.


If you have not had a chance, head over to Poop and Boogies and check out his post about his first car...classic.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Something Stinks

Can someone please explain this sign for me: