Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Evil in the Form of a Woman

I had a craving for Steak on Sunday, so after volleyball practice I headed to the local market.

I picked up my steak, a small package of chocolate chip cookies with no nuts and 2 boxes of Smacks (What? They were on sale!) and was walking towards the register.

It was then that it happened.

A young woman, dressed to impress, carrying a package of energy drinks, looked me up and down...I was wearing a very sweaty, bright orange t-shirt, gym shorts and some flip flops. It was clear that I was not "dressed to impress", but looking (and smelling) rather gross.

She walks next to me, puts her hand on my shoulder and says "you are a beautiful man."

Shell shocked, I smile, say thanks and left.

-----

Ladies, when you say something like that to a guy, what is the appropriate response?

A. "Thanks. I know I am beautiful. In fact, I am hot. No, not just sweaty hot, but really hot. Would you like to see me flex my calves?"

B. "Wow, you need to get your eyes checked."

C. "Get behind me Satan."

D. "I will make sure to pass that along to my parents. Clearly their genes matched well."

E. "I know. Claire tells me all the time. You know Claire. My girlfriend."

-----

Maybe I should ask a more pointed question...

"Claire, how would you like me to handle this type of situation in the future?"

13 comments:

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

You say nothing, blush, bow your head, walk away and THANK GOD you still have it!!

Hallie

Laura B. said...

Yea, no comment is the best way to go here. Thankfully she didn't say it and then she ends up behind you in the checkout line and you have to awkwardly stand there not knowing whether to say anything to her about Claire or just ignore her and you keep going back and forth in your mind and don't notice that the checkout girl accidentally charged you for 10 boxes of Smacks and you just run your debit card through without looking just so you can free yourself of this devil woman....

;-)

Practically Joe said...

Young Woman: She walks next to me, puts her hand on my shoulder and says "you are a beautiful man."

Me: "Oh thanks. What a great doctor I have. So you really can't tell, huh? My name is Shirley, nice to meet you."

WILLIAM said...

"you talking to me? ..You talking to me? "

for a different kind of girl said...

Definitely flex your calves. Do that, but then say thanks and mention how you think Claire thinks you're a REALLY beautiful man. Then flex again.

Then tell me what Smacks are!

Schell Family said...

I think your response was good. If it goes any further, you are boyfriendly obligated to mention Claire immediately!

I agree with "For a different kind of girl"...what are Smacks?

rs27 said...

I would go with A or C. Thsoe seem like the best responses.

But in real life I would run.

Girls scare me.

Mabunny said...

I'd have to say don't comment and then walk away with a manly swagger knowing you still got it:))

The Charming Hedonist said...

I'm kinda digging C. Of course, then E. And maybe then D. And then walk a little taller and smile because you just got complimented by the she-devil.

Katelin said...

haha i love that you called the post evil in the form of woman when all she did was give you a compliment, haha. weird yes, but still a compliment. i'd just say 'uh thanks.' and leave just like you did. sounds about right.

April said...

C- definitely C. What is wrong with women? I am embarrassed for her. But I think you handled it well.

Stacie said...

I think you handled it just fine. Say thanks and walk away.

You beautiful man you!

Becky said...

Okay so I am late in responding here, but laughing because I have had similar experiences.

I was once told I was a beautiful man too.

Just kidding.

Oh, but seriously, your reply should have been...

"You are too"

And then you just smile and walk away.

LOL

The Maid