Monday, May 26, 2008

My Cussing Pastor

A couple Sunday's ago while in church Claire and I were listening to the parable about the talents. Maybe you know it...

Anyway, Pastor Hank is talking about the one that buries the talent (it was a unit of measure for money) and then brings it back to his master without trying to grow it. Hank wanted to make a point about why the servant would bury the talent so he said that we did not want to "focus on that", referring to the next verse...

Instead, what Claire heard was, that we did not want to "F**k with that"...she lost it. Tears coming out of her eyes. We were very close to the front. Yes, Hank saw her, and while he did exercise good judgement and not point her out, it clearly threw him off his game.

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I don't remember the last time I heard a pastor say not to "F**k" with something...oh wait, yes I do, it was never.

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I promise that when I deliver another sermon, so time in the future, I will NEVER use that word...deal?!

13 comments:

Lauren said...

When I was teaching, I once said that a character was "pissed off" in a story. Granted, that's not even close to a curse, but it was strong enough to get my students screaming "oooohhh--Ms. G swore!"

It was slightly embarrassing.

Glad your paster didn't actually curse!

April said...

I was at a church once where the pastor was talking about the bumper sticker "Life's a b*tch and then you die." And he kept saying over and over "Brothers and Sisters, life is not a b*tch when you have Jesus." I looked at my husband and said "Now, that should be a bumper sticker!"

Gorilla Bananas said...

When they allow gorillas into the clergy I'll be telling humans not to fuck with stuff in every sermon. "Don't fuck with my cassock" would be a good one to start with.

The Charming Hedonist said...

I have an uncle who used to be an exotic dancer that is now a pastor. I'll bet he said the F-word a time or two. Of course, that was before he was a man of the cloth. ;-)

Becky said...

Too funny.

Did you ever see the youtube of the youth pastor who slipped and said a bad word?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jfjc2Ztd2uY

That was great!
The Maid

WILLIAM said...

I think some pastors should use that word..you know to get the point across.

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

You win, hands down, for comment that made me laugh the most!! That was freakin hysterical!!

And I think I am MUY IMPRESSED my blue whale friend!!

Hallie :)

Stacie said...

*giggle*

I probably would have lost it just like Claire...how funny!

Katelin said...

haha wow that is awesome. i would have laughed out loud too.

Flea said...

I keep hoping for my pastor to swear, but in 30 years it hasn't happened. So I read Donald Miller and Ann Lamotte. Not that I cuss. But I can TOTALLY relate to Claire. I do that all the time. :)

There's always Tony Campolo ...

Coffee Bean said...

We had a pastor that was single some years back (he's now married) that said something about PMS from the pulpit. He told us later that all the married guys' eyes bugged out and some even shook their heads at him... and the women? Mouths agape... big eyes... to closed mouths and squinty eyes. I laughed so hard when he replayed it for us later. We then told him NEVER to do that again.

Mary Alice said...

Once during the reading of the scriptures which happened to be from Judges 8 about the men of Penual.....only the reader didn't say Penual he said Penial....there was dead silence as people tried to be mature, you could see the shoulders of the people in the first pew start to shake with laughter, then the second pew went...it was like doing the wave all the way to the back of the church. People were wiping their eyes. One of the most memorable reading I've ever heard!

Nashville? said...

CCC would be so proud of you Bogart. Where is Ken Hamilton when you need him? Are you wearing flowered shirts to church now too??