Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Ice Cream and Hot Crotch

I first met Big Daddy when we were in college. He lived in the apartment next to mine. If you knocked on my roommate's wall, you were knocking on his roommate's wall. At first, there was no attraction between us....well, he was attracted to me but I had my head up my butt and wasn't aware of the cutie that lived next door. We were friends but for the most part, I thought he was the goofy nerd boy who always needed to barrow our phone book. However, over time, we became great friends...best friends, in fact. Because I wasn't interested in him as far as dating goes, the fact that he had glasses that made his eye huge, or that he had to breathe through his mouth, or even that he couldn't eat ice cream with out putting it in the microwave for 20 seconds (if he didn't it would give him sores in his mouth), didn't bother me. The sexual attraction was zero so what did I care if he was a super nerd.

One hot summer night the four of us, Curli, Brent, Big Daddy and I, decided to get ice cream. I drove and Curli rode shot-gun. The boys were in the back, which I still think is funny. Anyway, we got our ice cream and started driving home...just talking and laughing and eating our wonderfully cold ice cream. I heard Curli giggling under breath, then she got a look of pride over her face. Before I had the chance to ask what she was thinking, she said, "Hey, Big Daddy, can you eat your ice-cream now, or do you have to wait until we get home so you can heat it up?" Brent, Curli, and I all burst out laughing. Big Daddy had just professed his love for me a few nights earlier and I had to tell him that I didn't think of him that way. Even though I wasn't interested in dating him I was still concerned that my rejection coupled with Curli's comment may have hurt his feelings...however, I still laughed because it was funny and I couldn't help myself. I glanced at Big Daddy in the rear view mirror to see if he looked embarrassed. I saw his head quickly turn to the window and then right back to the passenger seat. Without hesitating and in a very matter of fact tone he said, "Well, actually, I just held it to my crotch and it melted!"

There was something about Big Daddy's reply that changed my feelings for him...not because of the crotch hot enough to melt ice cream thing, although it did peak my curiosity, but because of how witty he was. I thought, "Yeah, so he loves having tons of keys, and he does math in his head for fun, and okay, he likes to use big words all the time, but he can take a joke, makes me laugh and he has a good heart." After that night, I started to see him a little differently....maybe it was because I kept staring at his crotch, or maybe it was because for the first time, I could see myself dating him.

Have a great day!


Wonderful World of Weiners said...

HOw can you yell at me for continually educating my bloger audience on those people or those things that are worse off then us? I am merely here to expand your horizons.

Without me, would you know that dinner plates iszed spiders exist or that a procupine is OBVIOUSLY king shit when it comes to brawling?

Jeesh - some people are just ungreatful!


WILLIAM said...

Well What they heck....You and Scarlett or you and Bogart...or whatever...I got the Joke. Very Clever.

Stacie said...

May you always have a dollar bill in your purse.

Took me a moment to catch on to your April fools joke...very clever.. Big Daddy's not the only one out there that's witty!

Circus Kelli said...

Hot crotch - the lesser known prototype to Hot Pockets.

Katelin said...

Haha, I love kelli's comment. Classic.

rs27 said...

This was brilliant. That is all

for a different kind of girl said...

You silly boys and girls...

Amy said...

I guess there's just a lot about BD to love!

Great story!

Big Daddy said...

I'm not sure what Scarlett remembers these days. I most certainly didn't wear glasses in college, but I guess that's been awhile, so she thinks I've always worn them.

Chardsy said...

I hear Sulfa works well for Hot Crotch.

Bogart in P Towne said...

WWoW - Word.

William - I think you were the first to figure it out.

Stacie - I don't have a purse, but maybe I should work on that.

Kelli - Would make Hot Pockets easier to take camping!

Katelin - Me too.

RS27 - Thanks.

DKG - We just do what we do.

Amy - Scarlett is always enjoyable.

BD - I think we remember things the way we want to...and story tellers might take liberties, but it makes stuff so much more fun!

Chard - Doesn't that burn?