Well, since a certain someone wanted to know the rest of the story, here it is...
I asked this pretty girl out on a date. Like an official date. Like a real, official date.
Sure, I went on my first "date" when I was 12...I went and saw the local high school production of Greece with Jenny Blackwood (my first kiss)...her mom came with, drove, and sat with us. It was so cute.
Sure, I had a number of "girlfriends"...as most of my Jr. High and High School friends can attest, I was rarely without a lady.
But this was going to be my first, honest to goodness, non-school sponsored, non-group setting, drive myself type of date. I was to pick her up in my 1984 Dodge Ram 50 pick-up truck (full over sized camper shell included), go to dinner, then to a movie.
Oh it was to be so cool...oh it was going to be so fun...oh she is so pretty.
I pick her up at 5:30 and plan on stopping by the ATM to pull out cash for the date. At 16, I did not have a credit card.
I go up to the door, talk with her parents, get the low-down on curfew, walk her to the car, open the door for her, and drive away. "Where is the nearest ATM?"
As we arrive at the ATM, I notice my charms are working wonderfully. She is laughing at my jokes, playfully looking at me out of the corner of her eye, and, oh, did she just brush my hand as I shifted into 3rd? WOOOOHOOOO. She likes me, she really likes me.
I get out of the car and walk to the ATM (you see where this is going yet?). It really was not a walk, but more of a confident stride.
$40 ought to do it. A couple of burgers, cokes, we can share fries, and two movie tickets.
Let's try again. Cancel transaction, take out card, smile at the lady, put card back in, type in secret code, ask for $40...DENIED.
Well, I can say I am not that hungry, just "nibble" on her fries and drink water. $20 should get me by.
I look over at the car, smile and wave. She giggles, smiles and waves back. Hakuna matata...I ain't got no worries. Put card in again, type in secret code, ask for $20...DENIED.
Balance Inquiry..."You have $11.48 available in your account."
Hakuna matata my tookus...I have a lot of worries. What the junk do I do now?
The walk of shame followed. Shuffling my feet, trying to figure out a way out of this one. The ATM would not dispense $11.48, nor would it give me even $10.00. I tried that.
The laughing and smiling on my end was gone. I was a defeated man-child. Life was over. I was going to have to explain to this lovely young lady that I, keeper of all that is cool and awesome, driver of the mysterious 1984 Dodge Ram 50, and slayer of female hearts everywhere was going to have to drive her home. Walk her back to the door and apologize. Then face the wrath of the school the next morning. I just knew this was going to get out. I just knew that no woman would ever like me again. I just knew that my membership card to the nerd-herd had just been punched.
I got in the car. Looked her in the eye and said "Potential Bogart Girlfriend, I am so sorry. I think I made some sort of mistake. I don't have any cash on me and my bank account is dry. I will have to bid you adieu and just ask that you take pity on me."
She looked at the floor for a minute...then back up to me. "No worries. My dad gave me $100 for the night. We can just make this one my treat."
She bought dinner and the movie. She did not even make us share fries. She never did end up being the Bogart Girlfriend I envisioned...save for the little innocent smooch'n one Halloween night, but I give her a pass because my costume as a domino made me look so darn hot. We did end up being very good friends for the rest of High School and that story never got out.
Hakuna Matata my friends, Hakuna Matata.