Wednesday, March 5, 2008

How I fell in love with a New York Cop (Montreal Pt. 2)

Southwest is wonderful. A last minute flight to Albany, New York only cost $200. And Albany is only 3 hours from Montreal. That is a doable drive.

I rent a car. A Chevy Cobalt...white with a tail fin...and while you are at it, why don't you throw in the Garmin for the day. So I don't get lost...

I wake up early, jump in my White Cobalt and start driving. Through Canada...through the border...cruising along, wind in my hair, enjoying the drive. I had Golden Earring pumping through the radio. I am singing at the top of my lungs. I had the road to myself. Pedal to the metal. Drumming on the steering wheel. Cruising...

COP, COP, COP...my brain screams. I look down at the speedometer...155...OH NO. One Hundred and Fifty Five...Crap. This car should have broken apart. Chevy's don't go that fast. Oh no. I am going to jail. It is all over. My political career, over. My reputation, over. My weekend, over.

Oh wait...Kilometers per hour...155 KPH. This car is Canadian. Whew...155kph is not that fast, is it?

The way that cop peeled out said that it was...I quickly did the math in my head...155kph...carry the 1...95mph. Yes, Ninety-Five Miles Per Hour, or so...frick, frick, double frick.

"Sir, please step out of the car and put your hands on the hood."

Uh oh. This is not normal. I have been pulled over before. Maybe a couple times (shhh, don't tell my mom). I have never been asked to step out of the car before. Did he just say put my hands on the hood. This is not good.

"Wait" he says just as I got my left leg out of the car. "What is that?"

I had a red rose...a single red rose sitting in a water bottle. You know, for the lady. He was asking about the rose. I start telling him my story.

"Get back in the car."

Who am I to question authority?

I finished my story and he looked at me with pursed lips and questioning eyes.

"Do you have any idea how fast you were going?"

"Well, I know I was speeding, but I really don't know how fast, you see the speedometer is in KPH and I am just a simply country boy."

"You are from San Diego, not a country boy. You are driving a car with Canadian plates in New York. There is something wrong with this picture, son. Wait here."

So I waited, and waited, and waited...and then I waited some more. What is he doing back there? Is he playing solitaire on the computer? Man, I must really be in some trouble.

He comes back to the car, this time without his hand on his holstered weapon..."Mr. Bogart, today is your lucky day. You see, normally I would be hauling you in front of the judge. I clocked you at 95 MPH. That means I should arrest you, tow your car, and take you to the court room, but...but I like your speedometer excuse and I don't want this beautiful lady sitting at the airport all alone. That would be irresponsible. So, here is your ticket. It says 92mph. That is a big ticket. It will be a big fine. Make sure you pay it. And you have another 80 miles or so. There are cops, just like me, at exit 142, 181, and 202. Keep it under 130kph and they won't bother you. Have a great weekend. Drive safely and I hope she is worth it."

"Thank you officer, I really appre..."

"Don't thank me," he replied "it makes me feel dirty."

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You can read Part 1 here...

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10 comments:

Scarlett Wanna Be said...

Dirty cop, uhhh? Sounds like a fun game for you and your lady. Oh now why did I type that? That wasn't nice or lady like at all. Moving on to dainty things....

You got very lucky and it was very sweet of you to have a rose...rolling and clutching sweet. There I go again, I should just stop now.

Tell, Claire I said hello, she stopped by the other day!

for a different kind of girl said...

This is perfection! Seriously!

From now on, also, I'm going to be driving around with a rose in a water bottle in hopes I can use that!

Perhaps you should send this cop a rose, too. You know. Just as a little thank you. Check that ticket for his badge number and get on that!

♥♥♥ A- Licious ♥♥♥ said...

GREAT story telling....awesome.

So we should all carry a rose in a glass of water and drive Canadian cars????

(wish i had known this 15 tickets ago.....LOL....yes i did say 15)


heheheheeee

a-licious
in da hizzzzouse

The Charming Hedonist said...

Bogie, that's seriously the best thing I've read today!

Schell Family said...

So...you didn't learn your lesson last time after all?

Ok, Where Was I? said...

So funny--155 miles/hour! I almost thought it was one of those fish stories--"it was this big, no, this big." That loses something without the hand gestures, but know that I did them while I typed. I'm off to read part one.

WILLIAM said...

Damn. What was the dollar amount on the ticket? Can you pay in Canadian dollars...wait their dollar is better than ours now...so that won't work.

Bogart in P Towne said...

Scarlett - Our mom's read this blog...sheesh.

DKG - thanks...I was very appreciative.

a-licious - thanks. I don't have 15 tickets, thank goodness, but I think I am up to 4.

CH - Thanks...

Schell - This was the last time.

OK - I would *never* tell a fish story...okay, well maybe a little fish.

William - Totalled out around $475...$150 from the ticket and an additional $300 fine from the state of NY b/c of the speed. Then there was processing fees or something. Not fun.

♥♥♥ A- Licious ♥♥♥ said...

4 is great ;o)

15....um, not so much.

but i got all mine when i moved here to the Carolinas....go figure...heheee.

i can say NOW that they have all but 2 - dropped off....whew....LOL

kpellatiro said...

WOW, hands on the hood really came out?

"John" would be so proud (grin - you're the man AGAIN for getting out of that one).

Rhymes With Hair is a lucky girl...