Tuesday, January 29, 2008

The Joys College Roommates

4 guys in a 2 bedroom apartment...all on their own for the very first time. Yes, the first day in we played "Let the Good Times Roll" by The Cars, had a water balloon fight in the house, and ran with scissors.

We also created teams...in Room #1, we had Teddy and Jerry...in Room #2, Mongo and Me...

We were friends, mostly, but more importantly, we were also rivals...They were the enemy...people to be toyed with whenever possible. Sure, there were the standard lines of attack...cellophane on the toilet seat, short sheeting the bed, and water bombs from nowhere...but that 900 square foot bachelor pad also had some pretty unique things...

You see, Room #1 was at a slight disadvantage...Skinny Jerry was on their team. He was a nice enough guy, but smarts were not his forte...Dude was a little dense...giving us the perfect setup for perfect attack #1...

"See ya Jerry," Mongo and I said with flair, "We going to La Jolla for some snorkeling."

"Wait dudes...I heard it is lobster season...just started today or something. You gonna bring any back?"
A sideways glance and we knew it was on..."Of course Jerry. We are off to this secret spot I know. The season starts today and I know we are going to get our limit. It will be Lobster and Beer for everyone tonight!" Off Mongo and I went with a little twinkle in our eye...we knew we had him. We spent a couple hours in the clear water and had a blast, but the evening could not come soon enough.

On the way home we stopped at Sports Authority and picked up a dozen crawfish...you know, the little, lobster looking things, that are about 2-3 inches long...and placed a call to Jerry.

"Hey dude, we got our limit and we are having a feast. Call a couple friends, cause there is no way we are going to be able to eat all of these."

"Sweet...how many did you catch? Can I call Carrie and her brother? What about her mom and dad? Did you get enough for all of them?"
"Sure did, dude. Hit'em all up and let the know the feast will be around 8."

Mongo and I got home, dutifully put the crawfish in the bathtub, and sat down to watch a little football. When Jerry got home a couple of hours later, he was so excited..."Where are they guys?"

"They are in your tub. Gotta keep them fresh otherwise they don't taste as good when you cook 'em up."

He proceeded to go into the bathroom, tear back the shower curtain, and stare...for a good minute or two he was very quiet. Mongo and I did all we could not to laugh. When he was finally done assessing the situation he came out and said, "I thought lobsters were bigger."

"Oh no bro, they come like that...but don't worry, they plump when you cook them."

Yes, he really did believe us...until Carrie showed up, recognized the crawfish and told Jerry the truth. She called her parents and told them to stay home.


Wonderful World of Weiners said...

This is hysterical!! "they plump up when you cook them!" That is a classic line!!

Glad to hear you are a Y'all-aholic too!


rs27 said...

Roommate pranks are the bomb.

Especially when you lock their door shut from the outside and turn off all their lights.

Not that I've done that.

The Ex said...


So, what's short-sheeting?

The Charming Hedonist said...

Bogie! That's mean and evil and horrible. I love it!

Ok, Where Was I? said...

I feel so bad for him, first b/c he was so excited but also b/c he believed you. This is hilarious. Thanks for stopping by my site!

WILLIAM said...

So worng and so right at the same time.

Bogart in P Towne said...

WWofW...let's just say that Plumping line has been used ever since.

RS27...we have some good ones...I have one for next week that makes me laugh everytime I tell it. Let's just say we made skinny jerry cry.

The Ex...tuck the top sheet in at the top of the bed instead of the bottom...then fold the bottom end up to make it look like it is made normally. When they climb in, they can't get their feet past the fold...short-sheet.

CH -- Thanks.

OK...I enjoyed your posts.


Virginia said...

Haha that is an awesome story! And your bachelor pad sounds amazing. Pranks are the best.

(Is it weird that my mom is the master of short-sheeting the bed? She is. It's definitely weird.)

Schell Family said...

How did I never hear this story before - you guys were so cruel to him, but he was such an easy target!

Scarlett Wanna Be said...

When people tease me about food...like tell me there is something wonderful in store and then it turns out it is a booger flavored jelly belly, I stop being their friend. However, your story is funny and earns you funny friend points.

Bogart in P Towne said...

Virginia -- You have no idea...it was a blast. Only lasted a year...then Mongo and I moved to the beach and got our own place. That lasted the rest of college.

Stacey -- There are so many stories we tried to spare you from. We did not want to make you hate us.

Scarlett -- You never mess with another (wo)man's food...but we were proud of ourselves.