So in the apartment building Claire and I both live in, many unique personalities reside in other apartments…Of course our friends Baron and Maria live two doors down from Claire and they are great, but we also have others you don't forget...We have Nurse Roberts-stein (Scrubs fans may know her…except Claire’s neighbor is Jewish rather than Christian, hence the “stein”), Opera Guy (let’s just say he does not only sing in the shower), Creepy Porn Addict Who Likes Claire, Curiously Tall White FloJo, Suspicious Missing Husband Lady from Maryland (We have since met her husband, but we thought she was crazy, so the name stays), Fifth Floor People (they are mysterious and weird...some of the other building inhabitants say that the 5th Floorers don't really exist), the 2nd Floor Drunks, Sad Dad, and, our personal favorite, The Russian Mafia. Yes, we are pretty well convinced that the Russian Mafia has taken up residence in a small, unfurnished apartment in P-Towne. Let's examine the facts...they are Russian; they don't have any furniture in their apartment (they have been there longer than her); and their neighbors swear they heard the faint spits of silenced gunfire one night. No, we have never really seen any bodies, but bleach smells are not uncommon on their floor.
Maybe we should not talk about it. They probably monitor the Internet, but sometimes you just have to take chances.
We have also thought that the apartment might be a Russian Brothel...I mean there are a lot of large, ugly men in suits coming in and out at all hours of the night, but we only ever see one girl...nah, I am sticking with the mafia story.