As Claire and I walked out of Food Lion with our packages of Jello Pudd'n and Celery Sticks, I walked a little to close to the automatic sliding door. The locking mechanism latched onto my belt loop and pulled me...yes, I had managed to hook myself to the automatic door.
As I was being pulled, off my feet, to the right, my 7th degree training in the Ninja Arts kicked in. I leapt into the air, completed a very difficult 1 1/2 Shiatsu flip, took off my pants, unhooked them from the door and put them back on...
I was so fast that no one noticed I was wearing Calvin Klein Boxer Briefs...It was Ninja-rific.
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So I was watching Governor Rod Blagojavich on the View Monday. Two very profound things struck me:
1. Dude is a wack job. Totally and completely off his rocker.
2. I was watching the View. It made me feel dirty. It was like I put on someone else's underwear...I had to shower. I think I may have to shower, just thinking about it again.
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I was recently notified of the similarities between Christian Bale and Kermit the Frog...but until I saw this, I had no idea.Come to think of it, I have never seen them both in the same place at the same time...hmmmm.
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***EDIT 12:03PM***
Per William's request:
13 comments:
Everyone resembles one Muppet or another. It's a proven fact.
Hallie
What I want to know is if Kermit uses a weird voice when he morphs into a superhero...
I want to see kermit in a batman costume
William, I am happy to oblidge.
I want to bust a Ninja move on someone. Or something.
I don't discriminate
The Gov's hair didn't "strike" you? Heck, that could have been lethal.
i love that kermit/christian page, so funny.
So after the door pulled you down and ripped your pants off, did Claire laugh at you out loud?
as far as the automatic door debacle, I'm happy to be warned that something like that can happen...because it eventually WILL to one of my kids. We've had escalator & elevator disasters, but no auto-doors yet. I'll be on the lookout.
And the Gov is SO CREEPY and bizarre and full of himself and honestly thinks the world is an amazing place simply because he's in it.
I liken him to a white Kanye.
I'm not sure what's more interesting...that you had the luck to get caught by an automatic door, or that you watched "The View"! The View...really? I like the sweet Ninja Skillz though!
And Food Lion? They don't have "normal" San Diego grocery stores like Vons there? ;)
*LMAO* at your comment on my blog.
I bet Batman never got his belt loop caught in the grocery store door.
The View? Seriously? Bwahahahaha!
Wow...didn't know that was possible! I found myself studing the automatic door at my local supermarket and still have no clue how you got caught!
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