Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Ninja Training Saved My Life

Walking in the grocery store last week, ended in what would have been a disaster if not for my ninja training taking hold...

As Claire and I walked out of Food Lion with our packages of Jello Pudd'n and Celery Sticks, I walked a little to close to the automatic sliding door. The locking mechanism latched onto my belt loop and pulled me...yes, I had managed to hook myself to the automatic door.

As I was being pulled, off my feet, to the right, my 7th degree training in the Ninja Arts kicked in. I leapt into the air, completed a very difficult 1 1/2 Shiatsu flip, took off my pants, unhooked them from the door and put them back on...

I was so fast that no one noticed I was wearing Calvin Klein Boxer Briefs...It was Ninja-rific.

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So I was watching Governor Rod Blagojavich on the View Monday. Two very profound things struck me:

1. Dude is a wack job. Totally and completely off his rocker.

2. I was watching the View. It made me feel dirty. It was like I put on someone else's underwear...I had to shower. I think I may have to shower, just thinking about it again.

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I was recently notified of the similarities between Christian Bale and Kermit the Frog...but until I saw this, I had no idea.



Come to think of it, I have never seen them both in the same place at the same time...hmmmm.





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***EDIT 12:03PM***

Per William's request:

13 comments:

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Everyone resembles one Muppet or another. It's a proven fact.

Hallie

for a different kind of girl said...

What I want to know is if Kermit uses a weird voice when he morphs into a superhero...

WILLIAM said...

I want to see kermit in a batman costume

Bogart in P Towne said...

William, I am happy to oblidge.

rs27 said...

I want to bust a Ninja move on someone. Or something.

I don't discriminate

Sue said...

The Gov's hair didn't "strike" you? Heck, that could have been lethal.

Katelin said...

i love that kermit/christian page, so funny.

JP said...

So after the door pulled you down and ripped your pants off, did Claire laugh at you out loud?

Leigh Ann said...

as far as the automatic door debacle, I'm happy to be warned that something like that can happen...because it eventually WILL to one of my kids. We've had escalator & elevator disasters, but no auto-doors yet. I'll be on the lookout.

And the Gov is SO CREEPY and bizarre and full of himself and honestly thinks the world is an amazing place simply because he's in it.
I liken him to a white Kanye.

Super Mega Dad said...

I'm not sure what's more interesting...that you had the luck to get caught by an automatic door, or that you watched "The View"! The View...really? I like the sweet Ninja Skillz though!

And Food Lion? They don't have "normal" San Diego grocery stores like Vons there? ;)

Leigh Ann Kennedy said...

*LMAO* at your comment on my blog.

eclectic said...

I bet Batman never got his belt loop caught in the grocery store door.

The View? Seriously? Bwahahahaha!

Erin said...

Wow...didn't know that was possible! I found myself studing the automatic door at my local supermarket and still have no clue how you got caught!