Wednesday, July 15, 2009

It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time

File this under, It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time:

I tried to be a good husband and bake my wife an angel food cake for her book club Saturday night.

That worked well. Even got them out of the pans without much issue.

Cutting the Angel food sucks, but I finally got it to work.

There were a lot of crumbs on the counter. I LOVE Angel food cake crumbs. They are tiny morsels of goodness.

What was I to do? They could not be thrown away.

But did I, a 33 year old married man with a college degree brush them into a bowl or onto a plate so that I could eat them the right way?


I did what any 33 year old, married MAN, with a college degree would do...I stuck my lips to the counter and started inhaling them into my mouth.

It worked well for a min, but then the inhale got a little excited and shot some into my lungs.

I almost died!

I was choking. Alone.

Claire was going to find me on the kitchen floor, my fat body dead because of angel food cake.

Quick, where is a chair I could thrust myself upon? What am I thinking? I can't do that, it would hurt like heck.

Maybe if I run around, the power of the wind would dislodge it.

Or maybe if I drink, I can force water down my trachea and water down the cake.

Wait...I can breathe again.

Whew, that was a close one.

Now, back to sucking the cake off the counter.


Patience said...

You're not supposed to suck it off the counter! You're supposed to lick if off the counter!!!

I thought everyone knew that!!

MaBunny said...

HEHE, nice going... I thought you were supposed to wet your fingers, pick the crumbs up that way and then lick your fingers...

Schell Family said...


Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Glad you didn't die. Would have missed you.


Sue said...

Good Lord!

for a different kind of girl said...

Sigh...I'm sitting here doing nothing more than shaking my head at you...

Erin said...

I actually am guilty of that...last Sunday I found myself sucking my counter top for the otter pop drippings after I sissored it open. It must be genetic. By the way, I'm glad u didnt die.

The Charming Hedonist said...

Goofball, if you water down cake, it will expand before it gets watered down enough to break up and pass through. Please don't die, Bogie, that would be bad.

JP said...

Cake Death. Now that would be an interesting obituary...

Anonymous said...

As Papa always reminds us . . . there's two ways to learn!
Please tell me you DID LEARN!
I love you.

kimmy said...

I was choking on chicken once. Really choking. Could barely breathe. My son looked at me and asked me if HE could have something to drink. Good thing I didn't choke to death or else he would have died of thirst!

Glad you survived the crumb-sucking incident!


sari said...

that's too funny!