Thursday, May 14, 2009

Cereal Makes Me Fat

Ever have one of those "Ah-Ha" moments?

I just had one.

The back story is that I eat fast. I never really understood why. I have a lot of people to blame. My buddy Craig and I used to get into speed eating contests. My siblings (all 5 of them) liked to steal food off big brother's plate. Sports waited for no man and I needed to finish faster so I could get back out and play. The list goes on and on.

I have tried all sorts of cures. Putting my fork down between bites, counting my chews and even counting to 10 before taking a bite before swallowing. All of them make my food cold and I don't enjoy eating when that happens.

This morning, however, I solved the mystery. It is cereal's fault.

I have been eating cereal regularly since I was a kid. Love me some Fruity Pebbles, Frosted Mini-Wheat's, Capt'n Crunch (Berries and PB variety in particular) and Lucky Charms.

All of those are not so good when soggy. So I eat them quickly.

It is the first meal of the day and has been for a long time.

That speed eating is tough to stop.

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Now that I have a logical scapegoat, I need to pitch it off a cliff.

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Today is my birthday. I am going to eat whatever I want, drink whatever I want, watch baseball, talk on the phone and slap my wife's butt...in other words, my birthday will be just like any other day.

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I calculate that 11/28th of my life is over...so yeah, I got that going for me.

9 comments:

WILLIAM said...

Happy Birthday

Captain Crunch said...

Please do not throw me off a cliff.

Patience said...

Happy Happy Birthday!!!!!

for a different kind of girl said...

Happy birthday, Bogart! Sounds like you have a good plan for today, and, well, every day!

MaBunny said...

Happy Birthday! Mine was Tuesday, and other than my daughter getting taken to the ER it was great!
I slapped my hubby's butt, got a birthday pizza and a slice of chocolate cheesecake to boot!

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Happy bday! Cereal is awesome. I don't care if it is to blame. Doesn't change that is may just be the perfect food.

Hallie

The Charming Hedonist said...

Happy Birthday Bogie! Enjoy your cereal, and eat as fast as you wish. Enjoy your day!

Sue said...

Happy belated Birthday!

I hope you did everything you wanted to do.

kimmy said...

Bogart, you are a GENIUS!!!!

That is the root of my problem too. That, or I am just a pig!!!!

Happy Birthday...

Kimmy