Monday, December 8, 2008

Apologies

So, it has come to my attention that I owe a few people a heartfelt and hearty "I AM SORRY"...so, in no particular order, here are my apologies:

1. Claire's mom...I am sorry that I did not mention that YOU made the wonderful egg and sausage dish last week. Your cooking inspires much of how Claire and I eat and it was poor form for me to suggest that anyone other than you made that egg dish. I look forward to eating it again at the wedding!

2. Claire...I am sorry that I did not mention in this post that you actually made the Chicken Pot Pie and that it was wonderful. I should also mention that it fed both of us lunch AND dinner the next day. Your cooking is heaven sent and I always love the home style that you bring to your lovingly prepared meals.

3. French People...I am sorry that I have made fun of you all my life. I was taught that you were nothing but "cheese eating surrender monkey's", but as I learn more about how you helped us become a nation and the gift of General Lafayette, I realize that you taught us about good timing and how to win a war. If it were not for your sacrifice and dedication to helping the Americans become, well, Americans, I would probably have really bad teeth, drink tea, eat spotted dick and talk with a cockney accent.

4. My friend and commenter Nashville?!?...I am sorry that I am going to spank you with your own ping-pong paddle during the wedding celebrations. I know it will be hard for you to go home to your wife after I leave STIGA emblazoned on your posterior, but you will just have to suck it up because you can't stay in VA after the beating I will lay on you.

Any apologies you need to drop?

11 comments:

MaBunny said...

HAHAHAHA, ROFLMAO!!! As for any apologies I need to make , let me wake up more to think of all I've done wrong...

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

NO apologies - I'm perfect!!

And yeah for you agreeing that (gulp) spiders are evil. We should start a club!!

I'll even let you be President (or Grand Poobah, whichever you prefer)

Hallie

for a different kind of girl said...

It takes a big man to step up and apologize, especially when there's egg and sausage delights at stake. Well done!

Unknown said...

bogart...it's all good!

~AirmanMom returning to her blog...

Rahul said...

Apologizing to French people makes you a better man than I.

OHmommy said...

LOL... I need to do an apology post. Great idea.

Kevin Pellatiro said...

I apologize to all of Bogart’s reader’s for his living of the lie… he has no pong. I tried to let him off the challenge, tried to let him abuse me in Volleyball, or pool (or anything skinny people can do vs. me the fat guy) and hold his head high during his vows -- but he has persisted. Now Claire will be left to comfort her love on their special day… sobbing… icing small circular welts… so wrong.

Apologize to Claire Bogie.

Anonymous said...

I apologize to my husband for, during the first 5 years of our marriage, being only half the woman Claire apparently is to you. I never cooked anything described as "heaven sent" and though I did lovingly prepare our meals...that preparation rarely involved anything other than adding water and a microwave timer.

Thank God I've finally grown into the "real woman" I was meant to be.

And I'll never apologize to French people. Female armpits were meant to be shaved. End of story.

kimmy said...

Bogart - I need to apolgize to my husband for not cooking as well as Claire. I can't let him read this post because you might have an unexpected guest for dinner.

Kimmy

eMOM said...

I'm sorry I didn't find your blog sooner. It's a great read!

JP said...

I will also never apologize to the French. I think we repaid their kindness by having them not become Germany! Although they do have some great wine and cheese.