Monday, October 18, 2010

No really, I can do weddings in other States...oh wait, you are the Commonwealth.

So I went before the judge and he grilled me...full and total third degree. (Part 1 Here)

Bogart, please step forward.

So it says here you want to perform marriages in the Commonwealth of Virginia.  Why? 
Why would your friends want you to marry them?
Why would you fly from Missouri all the way to Virginia just to perform a wedding?
How did you meet the couple?  What was your connection to Virginia Beach that made you move here and meet them?  Why can't they find someone local to perform the ceremony?
What makes you think you should be allowed to marry people in the Commonwealth?
Have you performed weddings before?

And my personal favorite question that the judge asked me in the 20 minutes of grilling...

Are you in the military?  Why not?


Yes, those were all very real questions that were asked by a very real judge.  No, it was not a joke, but I did look around, wondering if I was on some sort of hidden camera show.

Even the bailiff was shrugging his shoulders and mouthing "I DON'T KNOW" when I looked to him for moral support.

But wait...there's more...


After 20 minutes of grilling 2 different law books and very awkward pauses the judge set forth his ruling...

"Mr. Bogart, it is clear that you are not qualified to perform marriage ceremonies in the Commonwealth of Virginia...however, I will allow you to perform one marriage for one day only.  Now go downstairs and they will swear you in."

So, I got sworn "Defend the Constitution of the United States and the Commonwealth of Virginia" and to perform the wedding duties to the best of my ability, so help me God...



See if I ever go back to perform a wedding ceremony in that non-state.


Kevin Pellatiro said...

That is awesome. It is *clear* that you are not qualified (sweet disposition that one). But be honest Bogart “Are you in the military? Why not? // You have the hair for it son.”

Schell Family said...

That's just WILD!

Phat Jim said...

Wow. . .gotta love the Commonwealth.