Wash that Mouth Out with Soap

There are times that I am truly amazed by what people will name things.

I saw this place in Salem, Mass.

I did learn that a "Bunghole" is actually the name for the hole in wooden barrels and the cork that is plugged in is called the bung, but c'mon.

Even Beavis and Butthead knew what a Bunghole really was.

-----

While we are at it, do we really need to call the game "Cornhole"? It should be called Bag Toss or Baggo...not Cornhole.

I can't even say it without snickering.

Are We Pretty?

Claire and I went to a charity event for the United Way a couple of weeks ago. They had an artist doing caricatures there.

I am not sure they truly captured my essence.

At Ease Sergeant

Having done student ministry in some shape or form since the mid-90's, I have had a chance to get to know a number of "kids" and watched many of them grow up...and boy do some of them grow up!

I recently was sent this link of a "Morning Salute" one of the news channels in San Diego did about a marine...one of my old students, Sgt. Brian Atkinson. He was one of the kids that you get to know well...loud, goofy and always fun. Now he is "organizing water polo" in Saddam Hussein's old pools and serving our country around the world...I love that!




They grow up oh so fast, don't they?!

Some Boston Pics

The day after the ceremony, we headed down to Boston for the weekend. Of course we had to hit up Fenway!

Once Claire joined us Thursday night, we had a wonderful time touring Boston, one of my favorite cities!

It was a beautiful weekend...fall weather most of the trip, but beautiful nonetheless.

We toured the USS Constitution (Old Ironsides). To say that the quarters for those sailors were a little cramped is an understatement.

-----

We visited the Old Library on the Southside of town. It was stunningly beautiful. If you are ever in Boston, you need to check it out!

Here is a shot of the courtyard...

In the library it was a scene right out of a movie...all the seats were taken and there were students actually studying, reading and working on their computers...oh yea, it was the first month of school...

Derek and Emily by the fountain in the middle of the courtyard.

Congrats Derek

I was blessed with the opportunity to go to Portsmouth Naval Shipyard in New Hampshire to witness the "Pinning Ceremony" of my good friend Derek. He was recently promoted to Chief Petty Officer...a BIG DEAL in the United States Navy. It was a really neat thing to see and be a part of.

Derek and me at the after party...

Standing with the 6 new Chiefs from the Helena...

This is right before he was admitted to Chief's Mess...

His wife and father were honored by pinning his Chief's pins on his lapels...

You can see he is proud of his accomplishment...and he should be!

Congrats to Derek and all of the new Chiefs!

-----

A quick excerpt explaining how big a deal making chief is:

Unlike Petty Officer First Class and lower ranks, advancement to Chief Petty Officer can only advance after review by a selection board of serving Senior and Master Chief Petty Officers, in effect "choosing their own" and conversely not choosing others.

Advancement into the Chief Petty Officer grades is the most significant promotion within the enlisted naval ranks. At the rank of Chief, the Sailor takes on more administrative duties. In the Navy, their uniform changes to reflect this change of duty, becoming identical to that of an officer's uniform except with different insignia. Sailors in the three Chief Petty Officer ranks also have conspicuous privileges such as seperate dining and living areas. Any naval vessel of sufficient size has a room or rooms that are off-limits to anyone not a Chief (including officers) except by specific inviation. In addition, a Chief Petty Officer, no matter how much he was on a "first name" basis with other petty officers before promotion, is always addressed as "Chief" by subordinates and superiors.

-----

We went to Boston after the ceremony...those pics will be up tomorrow.

Girls are Wierd

Now that I am back coaching High School Girls Volleyball, I am putting together a list of things you never see/hear at a guys practice, but you see at a girls practice:


1. Skipping...guys don't skip. I don't think guys past the age of 9 skip. It really does not happen. Girls seem to skip until they are 80. My volleyball girls do it all the time...during practice. I say "Hustle-up, there is to much walking going on!" and they respond by skipping. What is that about?


2. Fixing hair...You are working out. I am pushing you pretty hard. Why are you fixing your hair while we jump on boxes? Why are you putting your ponytail in when we are running lines?

3. A player saying "I missed that hit because my hair got covered my eyes"...really? Weren't you just fixing your hair a minute ago when we were running lines? What the junk?

4. Crying during practice...I know, I have seen guys cry at practice, but that was because he got a note that said his dog had died, not because it was hard. Guys puke when practice gets really hard, girls cry.

5. Coordinated Cheerleading on the court. When a guy hits a good shot, the other guys high-five them or slap them on the butt...girls circle up and cheer. "Oh snap, beat that ace!" or "Roof, Roof, you just got Roofed"...hand motions to boot.

Some NoLa Pics

Thought we would share some shots from our tubing adventure in LA last weekend...

We had a great time with the family.


-----


I also mentioned that while we were down in Louisiana we met Leigh-Ann from Starting Somewhere, one of our favorite bloggers...
Sorta looks like an AT&T commercial...more bars in more places.

The New Laundry Day

Back home from a two week jaunt through the country. We had a great time this past weekend in New Orleans, getting some quality time with the fam.

This weekend, I am off to Roanoke, VA with the volleyball team and then New Hampshire and Massachusetts next week. One of these days I will need to settle down.

-----

While we were in SE Louisiana, I got to fly my RC Plane again. I will tell you, we have gotten more use out of that thing...might be the best $30 I have ever spent.

-----

We walked around the French Quarter last week. One of the highlights was meeting fellow blogger Leigh-Ann at her work.

I thought it was funny that she recognized Claire before she recognized me.

I mean, c'mon....it is MY blog and all.

-----

If you have not had a chance to read Leigh-Ann over at Starting Somewhere, I would highly recommend that you do. She is always an enjoyable read!

-----

It was Southern Decadence Festival this weekend in NoLa. I have never heard more people say to me "Hey Big Boy, what is in your pocket?"

Sadly, I did not see any buttless chaps. You know it is a bad party if no one is wearing buttless chaps.

-----

I just held up a roll of quarters and told them it was laundry day.

I think it was laundry day for a lot of people.

I Am A Daddy

When I am asked if I have any kids, my standard answer is "none that I know of!"

Then I saw this video and figured that I actually have a kid...I was a redhead until I was 4 or 5 and dude has the exact same moves as me...except my worm is better.

The Weigh In

We had our weigh in last night...

I dropped some poundage and now weigh 1lb less than I did when Claire and I got married.

Claire dropped the same poundage and EASILY won the weight loss challenge.

She is my rock-star!

-----

Everyone in the family lost weight and it showed. I think among us we dropped a small village worth of weight in the past 6 weeks.

-----

Last week I was at my mother's home when the "Shaving incident" happened.

No, it was not my mom's shaving cream I used...it was my sister's.

Ouch!

-----

This week we are in New Orleans with Claire's family. A day for tubing down the river is on the docket fo'sho.

This Blog Post is Rated PG-13

No, really, it is.

If you would not watch a PG-13 movie, you should not read on...if you choose to, do so at your own peril. If you prefer not to go on, here is a link you can enjoy.

-----

Okay, those of you still with me...

-----

So I took a shower today. A normal event.

I am traveling and did not bring soap, shampoo or shaving cream. Also, a normal event.

I used the "body wash" that was in the shower...I prefer my Lever 2000 bar, but I got clean.

I used the shampoo that was in the shower...it was fine. I like to smell pretty.

I then needed to shave. Usually, if I don't have shave cream, I just use conditioner. It works well and keeps my pretty face, soft and supple.

Today, in the shower, there was shave cream. It was not manly and not because of the aroma.

No, the shave cream had a very...uh hem...interesting name...

Coochy.

Digest that for a moment.

Coochy.

I don't think I had said that word since I was 16.

Coochy.

And I put that on my face to shave with.

Coochy.

Really? Is that the best name? I mean, it does say rash free body wash for "All Over", but really, what is is for?

No, don't answer that.

I am just troubled that I put Coochy on my face to shave with.

I think my life is complete...or my political career is over...one or the other.

----

If you don't know what Coochy is slang for, just think of a girls "who-ha"...now you got it.

Proverbs 31:10-12

Nothing like having your cell phone die when you are 1500 miles from home.

And that sucker is dead. Even the tech guys at Verizon could not get it to turn on.

Claire really wants an iPhone. I really don't have good feelings about AT&T.

But, one of my life motto's is:

Happy Wife, Happy Life

You can also translate that to "What my baby want, my baby get".

So, unless there is something new and exciting for Verizon customers, I think I will be porting over to AT&T fairly soon...and my amazing wife will have her new toy.

-----

Which leaves me with few options for a temporary phone. I am trying to find a used one to borrow for the next 2 weeks while I am traveling. I really don't want to buy a Verizon phone if I am just moving services in a couple of weeks...

-----

If she gets a new toy, I think I get a new toy.

Claire gets an iPhone. Bogart gets a 52 inch flat screen.

I think that is fair.

-----

Traveling is the word of the month for me...I was 1500 miles away from home yesterday...I flew out in the AM and flew home later that night. For a 4 hour stay. Long day.

I travel tomorrow across the country for some work and R&R...will be flying back next Wednesday, only to leave again Thursday for a New Orleans trip.

Can you see why I just want a loaner phone?

-----

Still looking for tear-away pants for our official weigh-in. I think J in L-Towne would love me to walk up to the scale, tear my pants off and get weighed wearing only my speedo...it sounds like the perfect son-in-law thing to do!

We Win...We Are Wieners

Claire and I were big Wieners on Saturday over at Wonderful World of Weiners. What did we win? How about a boat load of camping equipment...(Pictures here, about 1/3rd of the way down)

Folding Chopsticks
Gator Machete
Crucial Multitool
My-Ti Folding Fork/Spoon
Remix Knife
Omnimore Flashlight
Lamplight 360
Brewfire Dual-Fuel Coffee Maker
Profile Duo Range Grill and Stove
Helios Stormproof Lighter
Vapor Cookset
Solo 3.4 Power outlet

Now we will be camping and tailgating in style!!!

Thanks you Hallie!!!

Locks of Yuk

I was listening to NPR yesterday as I drove to the HS Volleyball tryouts (I am coaching again)...they had a weird show that had a guy act as if he is Thomas Jefferson and answers questions about his life. It is a very strange show that has a very strange appeal.

Anyway, the interviewer asked him "If Monticello was going up in flames, what 5 things would you grab?"

He started with his collections of 7000 books. Really?

Then he talked about his 5 journals.

Then he creeped me out. He told the story about his wife dying. Just before she passed away, she wrote out a poem that she knew, leaving the last line blank and then dying. So, TJ finished writing the poem out and took a lock of her hair; he put them both in an envelope and hid it in a secret drawer. He said that would be one of the things that he went into the towering inferno to get back.

I understand some sentimentality about the poem, but the hair thing is just wrong. I then realized that I even get creeped out looking at Claire's baby book and the lock of hair that is in there. I am uncomfortable seeing any lock of hair that people keep for whatever reason.

This discomfort includes the Locks of Love chairity. I love the charity. It is so cool. I just don't want to see that clump-o-hair in the ziplock.

Is it just me or does the idea of a lock of hair creep you out too?

I Can Lift Weights in Prison

This guy has continued his music...recently adding a synthesizer and a microphone. Now he has the steel drums, the keyboard and faux back-up singers. Oh my goodness I am getting tired of hearing him 6-days a week.

-----

The Weight Loss Challenge is going well. The gym has been visited 3-days a week and, outside of communion on Sunday and a certain soccer game last week, I have not touched bread since we left New Orleans.

It will be fun to roll around in all those twenty's like I just hit the jackpot in Vegas!

-----

Anyone know where I can get some cool, tear-away pants for the official weigh-in?

-----

Saturday Claire and I cleaned the house, went to Costco and did misc. chores...yet we had a great day. How cool is that?

Sunday we went to church, spent a few hours at the beach and had a seafood extravaganza at Jon and Lisa's house. Great way to end the weekend!

Catching Crabs

Two weeks ago, Claire and I went up to Ocean City, MD to visit our friend Kelly, her two kids and some of her other extended family. It was a wonderful trip, full of good food, good times and great people.

We made sure to have a dinner full of MD Crabs...they were nice and big...just the way we like them.

The house was right on the water (bay side) and we had a great time diving off of the dock, watching beautiful sunsets and stunning lightening.

Man of Steel

Ever have one of those moments when you are sitting, all alone and you do something really stupid? You know, one of those moments that you look around just to make sure you really are alone so that no one saw it?

Yeah, me neither.

-----

I got to say, travel does not make trying to avoid sugar, fruit and carb's very easy. They are everywhere.

At least at home, I can not buy the bread or pick up some sugar-free jello. On the road, there is little I can do.

-----

Why am I avoiding those things you ask? Well, cause this guy (the groom) and I were teasing each other a couple of weeks ago. I think he was calling me tubby and I was calling him chubby...or maybe it was fatty and jiggly. Or maybe it was both.

Anyway, I told him that I was going to come back to Louisiana in 6 weeks and I was going to be looking better and have lost more weight than him...Kyle, never being one to back down from a challenge, accepted.

Claire heard about this and wanted a piece of the action. Then Sarah (the bride above and Claire's baby sister) wanted in. Then it was the girl's father. We also drug Pamela (the middle one) and her boy (the candidate) into the fray. Suddenly it was a bet with lots of trash talk going on.

So, on the Friday of Labor day, there will be a weigh in. The person who looses the most weight by body percentage wins $120, second place gets their money back ($20) and last place becomes the drink and food getter.

-----

Not gonna lie Sarah, I am looking good. No longer jello, more like steel.

My Lady Friend

This weekend Claire and I went to Ocean City Maryland to visit one of her closest friends from College. I will post a few pics later this week, but have been laughing about one incident.

Claire's friend Kelly has a five year-old son Luke. He seems to be a bit smitten with my wife.

Claire was on the back patio, playing with Luke's little sister, Lilly. They were in their swimsuits and Luke had noticed Claire. He turned his head, looked out the window at her, looked back at me and said, "Bogart, I like your lady."

I punched him in the nose.

-----

I don't condone violence, but he looked at her funny.

-----

Okay, I may have exaggerated...I may have actually just laughed a good, deep belly laugh.

Dialing Puerto Rico

787...I raised my hands in triumph.

787...not my ideal weight.

787...not just an airplane made by Boeing.

787...not just an area code in Puerto Rico.

Seven Hundred and Eight Seven...I had just won the bet.

-----

Claire and I were at the car dealership on Saturday, working out the financing portion of our new Subaru Forester. We asked the dealer if he could share our scores.

Claire and I then made a $1 bet that my score would be within 12 points of hers if it mine was lower...I figured it would be lower since if you are born with a dumb stick, you get docked points on your credit...no really, you do. I am the guy, therefore I have a little lower score.

The dealer pulls out his calculator, plugs in the numbers and smiles. He looks at me and says that I got Claire by 32 points...THIRTY TWO POINTS!!!

I might have done the sprinkler in his office. Okay, I did, but I did NOT do the worm, although I was tempted.

-----

He then dropped the news that I actually lost the bet...it was hers that was higher...as in 819.

787...might be a good credit score

819...is a herculean score.

819...my wife's new nick-name.

819...787...sure they are both good, but one is just a little bit gooder.

Bad Jokes and Bacon

I picked up some clothes from the cleaners today.

As I was paying, the dude behind the counter says to me:

"I really like your shirts. They are very nice. If they would have fit me, I would have kept them and told you they were lost in the cleaning process."

Blink-Blink

-----

Loving the new car, but I hesitated to drive it this morning because my clothes smelled like bacon. Normally, bacon is the greatest smell you will get to enjoy during the day, but the thought of ruining the new car smell in the Forester was making me worry about getting in the driver's seat.

-----

Received my shipment of Bacon Salt today.

'cause everything should taste like bacon!