So we had an incident.
It has been a bit traumatizing.
I am not sure what to think about it.
Some of the fall out has been me revisiting my life in college, dissecting my relationship with Carter and evaluating the way people see me.
What happened you ask?
My daughter gently nibbled my nipple.
Not like she was trying to feed. Not like she was thinking about feeding. It was as if she was looking to comfort herself.
We were in public and I was clothed, but it was uncomfortable.
Okay, maybe I am being dramatic...Okay, there is a lot of drama in the above.
But I feel violated...and it wasn't even a Friday night in Vegas.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
From James Dean to Jerry Lewis...my transformation
Poop...Leakage...Wipes...Drool...Booger...Peed ON
No, this is not a return to college, it is the reality of fatherhood.
It is what we discuss, think about and try to figure out.
Does this mean we have lost our cool?
Did we ever really have any cool?
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Carter is getting noticeably bigger. It is crazy. She is out of newborn clothes/diapers.
Claire is working in a good rhythm. It is pretty cool to see.
Her parents have been here for a couple of weeks now and it is really nice to have them here. Sure, the help is nice, but really, we are just enjoying their company.
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If you told me that I would celebrate getting 5 straight hours of sleep as if it is something that is unusual, I might have punched you in the ear. But this morning I got 6 hours of sleep. STRAIGHT. I feel like dancing a jig. It makes me want to throw a parade.
Instead, I am going to take my wife, daughter and C's Parents to the Cracker-Barrel.
Jealous?
No, this is not a return to college, it is the reality of fatherhood.
It is what we discuss, think about and try to figure out.
Does this mean we have lost our cool?
Did we ever really have any cool?
-----
Carter is getting noticeably bigger. It is crazy. She is out of newborn clothes/diapers.
Claire is working in a good rhythm. It is pretty cool to see.
Her parents have been here for a couple of weeks now and it is really nice to have them here. Sure, the help is nice, but really, we are just enjoying their company.
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If you told me that I would celebrate getting 5 straight hours of sleep as if it is something that is unusual, I might have punched you in the ear. But this morning I got 6 hours of sleep. STRAIGHT. I feel like dancing a jig. It makes me want to throw a parade.
Instead, I am going to take my wife, daughter and C's Parents to the Cracker-Barrel.
Jealous?
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Name Fail
So Carter went on her first official outing...To Church. It was a very nice way to say Happy Father's Day!
While there, she got a lot of attention. Pastor said hello...friends checked her out...random people pinched her face...then there was the "Older Lady".
She made eye contact with me as I was holding Carter in the car seat. She made a bee-line for us. Checking out Carter, Older Lady smiled and ogled. She looked at me and Claire and made small talk about how cute Carter was, how happy we all look, etc...then she got to the question:
"So, what is her name?"
"Carter Nicole"
pause...pause...eyes darting around...Older Lady says "Oh...hmmmm...Is that a family name?"
"Nope. Just something we liked."
pause...pause...eyes darting around...Older Lady says "Huh...well, I guess you will just call her Nicky won't you."
pause...pause...eyes darting around...Claire said "Probably not. We will probably stick with Carter."
Older Lady walked away.
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Apparently Carter is a Name Fail for the "Greatest Generation".
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Happy Father's day to all the Father's that had a big influence in my life and how I hope to be a daddy...
You know who you are.
While there, she got a lot of attention. Pastor said hello...friends checked her out...random people pinched her face...then there was the "Older Lady".
She made eye contact with me as I was holding Carter in the car seat. She made a bee-line for us. Checking out Carter, Older Lady smiled and ogled. She looked at me and Claire and made small talk about how cute Carter was, how happy we all look, etc...then she got to the question:
"So, what is her name?"
"Carter Nicole"
pause...pause...eyes darting around...Older Lady says "Oh...hmmmm...Is that a family name?"
"Nope. Just something we liked."
pause...pause...eyes darting around...Older Lady says "Huh...well, I guess you will just call her Nicky won't you."
pause...pause...eyes darting around...Claire said "Probably not. We will probably stick with Carter."
Older Lady walked away.
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Apparently Carter is a Name Fail for the "Greatest Generation".
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Happy Father's day to all the Father's that had a big influence in my life and how I hope to be a daddy...
You know who you are.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Moving from the book
Dear Lactation Specialists and Peds Nurses,
I know that the new guidelines are to wake your child every 3 hours or less to feed. I know that the baby is very important. I know that there are some children that HAVE to eat every 3 hours because there is not enough milk or they are not good feeders or whatever...
But part of your job is to evaluate parents and how they are getting along with the nutrition of the baby. I am not dumb. My child is not yet a full 7 days old and is already back to birth weight. She is clearly feeding well and mom is making enough milk to feed Carter and 2 other children. Given that, I am respectfully going to tell you to take your "wake up your baby to feed" advice and share it with someone else. If she goes 4 1/2 hours between feedings, I am not worried. As a matter of fact, I long for that.
So thank you for your education. Thank you for being caring. But please, if you want to be really good at what you do, know that there is a lot more than just book knowledge and you need to learn to adjust recommendations according to situation.
Thank you.
-Bogart.
I know that the new guidelines are to wake your child every 3 hours or less to feed. I know that the baby is very important. I know that there are some children that HAVE to eat every 3 hours because there is not enough milk or they are not good feeders or whatever...
But part of your job is to evaluate parents and how they are getting along with the nutrition of the baby. I am not dumb. My child is not yet a full 7 days old and is already back to birth weight. She is clearly feeding well and mom is making enough milk to feed Carter and 2 other children. Given that, I am respectfully going to tell you to take your "wake up your baby to feed" advice and share it with someone else. If she goes 4 1/2 hours between feedings, I am not worried. As a matter of fact, I long for that.
So thank you for your education. Thank you for being caring. But please, if you want to be really good at what you do, know that there is a lot more than just book knowledge and you need to learn to adjust recommendations according to situation.
Thank you.
-Bogart.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Choir of Jr. High Wind Instruments
Being a dad is different than I thought. I expected angles with horns as soon as she popped out. Instant, deep, penetrating love for this little "bundle of joy". I thought I would feel different.
Instead, I feel like I have picked up a task. A good one...one I don't mind doing...but a task nonetheless. Sorta like that job that was a bit of a stretch, but you you did not mind the hard work and long hours.
I am up all night long, trying to decide if I should rock her, dance with her, sing to her or just let her be. I change diapers and prep for feeding. I jump at every whimper and smile at every coo. I put her in the backseat very carefully and drive much more slowly. I have already eaten a few cold dinners, passed on a beloved cigar and cooked with a good bottle of wine instead of drinking it. I wipe the "front butt" even though I am uncomfortable doing so. I hold her until my arm feels like it will fall off then I move to the next one for just as long. I manage to do all this with a smile and looking forward to what comes next.
Wait...that is Love...that is a deep, penetrating love. It may not have involved a choir of angels, but that crying and whaling is pretty melodic, sora like a bunch of 7th graders playing in their first concert...and Claire has never been so beautiful.
Yea, I could get used to this whole Dad thing.
Instead, I feel like I have picked up a task. A good one...one I don't mind doing...but a task nonetheless. Sorta like that job that was a bit of a stretch, but you you did not mind the hard work and long hours.
I am up all night long, trying to decide if I should rock her, dance with her, sing to her or just let her be. I change diapers and prep for feeding. I jump at every whimper and smile at every coo. I put her in the backseat very carefully and drive much more slowly. I have already eaten a few cold dinners, passed on a beloved cigar and cooked with a good bottle of wine instead of drinking it. I wipe the "front butt" even though I am uncomfortable doing so. I hold her until my arm feels like it will fall off then I move to the next one for just as long. I manage to do all this with a smile and looking forward to what comes next.
Wait...that is Love...that is a deep, penetrating love. It may not have involved a choir of angels, but that crying and whaling is pretty melodic, sora like a bunch of 7th graders playing in their first concert...and Claire has never been so beautiful.
Yea, I could get used to this whole Dad thing.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
How will Google handle this post?
Many men lose their dignity after getting married when they have to make a run to the grocery store and shop for tampons. There are so many choices...different sizes...different applicators...different absorbency's. You can guess and get sent back. You can just buy them all and hope she finds a use for the ones she does not like. You can ask and lose your dignity. I am guessing that most guys, at some point, do all three.
Later, if they were smart and looked at what their wife uses prior to going to the store, then they go later into the marriage with their dignity intact. But then the wife becomes pregnant and that is the next major dignity stealing time...the Hemorrhoid cream. Apparently, it is a real thing that many women get Hemorrhoids while "with child" (thankfully this was not Claire!). Try explaining that to the guy behind the counter..."No really, it is for my wife." I guess you could always go the route that Conan O'Brien uses...that the cream is for the dark circles under his eyes.
If the husband makes it through those two events, the Coup de Gras comes...Nipple Cream. See, breast feeding leads to sore, painful and sometimes bloody nipples (bring that up as a topic of conversation at your next dinner party). They sell different things to help and there are many different home remedies...but if it is bad enough or your doctor is smart enough, they will just prescribe some prescription strength nipple cream. And you can't just take that to any pharmacy...it takes a special Apothecary's type of pharmacy. So here is what happens...you walk into your normal pharmacy...they tell you no, we cannot make up this Nipple Cream, try somewhere else. You try the CVS across the street...Nope, not there either. So, now you call around...nothing like lots of conversations with people over the phone asking about nipple cream. Finally you find a place that will whip some up for you. You go to pick it up, only to realize it is Fifty Bucks...yes FIFTY DOLLARS. You swallow hard, whip out the credit card and buy Nipple cream.
Well, I guess it could be worse...you could have to walk the Bichon Frise down the street.
Later, if they were smart and looked at what their wife uses prior to going to the store, then they go later into the marriage with their dignity intact. But then the wife becomes pregnant and that is the next major dignity stealing time...the Hemorrhoid cream. Apparently, it is a real thing that many women get Hemorrhoids while "with child" (thankfully this was not Claire!). Try explaining that to the guy behind the counter..."No really, it is for my wife." I guess you could always go the route that Conan O'Brien uses...that the cream is for the dark circles under his eyes.
If the husband makes it through those two events, the Coup de Gras comes...Nipple Cream. See, breast feeding leads to sore, painful and sometimes bloody nipples (bring that up as a topic of conversation at your next dinner party). They sell different things to help and there are many different home remedies...but if it is bad enough or your doctor is smart enough, they will just prescribe some prescription strength nipple cream. And you can't just take that to any pharmacy...it takes a special Apothecary's type of pharmacy. So here is what happens...you walk into your normal pharmacy...they tell you no, we cannot make up this Nipple Cream, try somewhere else. You try the CVS across the street...Nope, not there either. So, now you call around...nothing like lots of conversations with people over the phone asking about nipple cream. Finally you find a place that will whip some up for you. You go to pick it up, only to realize it is Fifty Bucks...yes FIFTY DOLLARS. You swallow hard, whip out the credit card and buy Nipple cream.
Well, I guess it could be worse...you could have to walk the Bichon Frise down the street.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Carter Nicole
That is sorta what I did in the recovery room on Friday night...
The nurses thought it was funny to see a 6'5" man holding a baby in the air yelling:
"LOOK AT WHAT I HAVE CREATED!!!"
Little Carter Nicole joined our lives at 5:12pm. Yes, I will post some pictures. Yes, I think it will spur on more frequent posts. I started this thing to keep the family abreast of what was going on when I left CA. Now, we probably should do the same for Frank (still working on a good nickname for her...I love Baby Blue, because of her eyes, but my buddy Derek's daughter already claimed that one...so, Frank Sinatra...ol' Blue Eyes...she can be Frank).
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Momma is doing well. Looking Hubba Hubba as always.
Actually, prettier than ever...something about popping out my Progeny that makes her look amazing!
Monday, February 28, 2011
Two Years Ago
Two Years Ago Today...I married my beautiful wife.
I hope she know that when she crinkles her nose I melt.
I hope she knows that not many things can make me happier than when she touches me
I hope she knows how much it means to me that she is supportive
I hope she knows how amazing it is that she is carrying our child
I hope she knows my love for her
I hope she knows my admiration for her
I hope she understands that I want to continue to be a good husband for her
I hope she understands that there is nothing that makes me happier than being able to call her my wife
Happy Anniversary Love...
I hope she know that when she crinkles her nose I melt.
I hope she knows that not many things can make me happier than when she touches me
I hope she knows how much it means to me that she is supportive
I hope she knows how amazing it is that she is carrying our child
I hope she knows my love for her
I hope she knows my admiration for her
I hope she understands that I want to continue to be a good husband for her
I hope she understands that there is nothing that makes me happier than being able to call her my wife
Happy Anniversary Love...
Friday, December 31, 2010
Happy New Year!!!
We hope your 2010 was as memorable as ours.
From us to you...We wish you a very Happy New Year!
Bogart...Claire...and Hezekiah? or maybe Shadrach? Or Cornicopia? Or maybe it should be Princess Leah. Just say'n.
Bogart...Claire...and Hezekiah? or maybe Shadrach? Or Cornicopia? Or maybe it should be Princess Leah. Just say'n.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Pretty? Yes. Sucky? Yes.
I don't know if I will ever get used to this pretty sight.
Yes, I like looking at it. It is pretty. It is cool. It is my back-yard covered with the first snow.
Yes, I wish it was just a scene I was visiting for a ski trip or a weekend away...not living in it every single day!!
Yes, I wish it was just a scene I was visiting for a ski trip or a weekend away...not living in it every single day!!
Monday, December 27, 2010
I Won, I Won...I am a Winner!
I have been a Nebraska fan since I was a kid...I blame owe it to Gramps. Having spent summers in Nebraska growing up and wanting to be just like him, I just went all in for Big Red.
So when they played Mizzou this year I had to make a little wager...or two.
Remember, I live in Missouri. I have two Mizzou fans that work for me. We had to have a bet.
So the bet...well, why don't you have a look what I won.
Yup...they both have this sticker on their car until the end of the National Championship game. How sweet is that!!!
So when they played Mizzou this year I had to make a little wager...or two.
Remember, I live in Missouri. I have two Mizzou fans that work for me. We had to have a bet.
So the bet...well, why don't you have a look what I won.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas to you.
Claire and I hope you have a wonderful Christmas.
We are celebrating with our family in Atlanta with some soon to be new family...see, my little sister Jessica is getting married tomorrow. How cool is it that I get to do the wedding?!!
So, for today, Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!!!
Claire and I hope you have a wonderful Christmas.
We are celebrating with our family in Atlanta with some soon to be new family...see, my little sister Jessica is getting married tomorrow. How cool is it that I get to do the wedding?!!
So, for today, Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!!!
Monday, December 20, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Growling and Missing
I know, I know...I am late. I know, I know...I owe you some pictures and stuff...but that means I have to clean the house and snap a picture or two...so they are coming, but just not yet.
I think I was growled at today.
No really...growled at.
I walked into the lunch room to fill my water bottle. As I came around the corner, a lady was on the phone, looked at me and growled.
I am not sure what it was. But I heard it again as I left. No seriously, she growled.
Really? Really? Did you just growl at me? Yes, I think she did!
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I miss blogging. I do. It is doubly worse b/c I told Claire that I would do it more often for her birthday...but then I go a month without it.
I like getting on here and writing. I like popping over and checking out my online/real life friend Poop. I like catching up on the Maiden and getting my cooking tips from Bouillie. I also miss arguing with my old friend BSing.
So why am I not doing it? Well, working 10-15 hour days has something to do with it, but that really only started in November.
I think the biggest thing is I just don't feel like writing when I get home and I have a tough time remembering the things I want to write about during the day.
I really need to work on this.
I think I was growled at today.
No really...growled at.
I walked into the lunch room to fill my water bottle. As I came around the corner, a lady was on the phone, looked at me and growled.
I am not sure what it was. But I heard it again as I left. No seriously, she growled.
Really? Really? Did you just growl at me? Yes, I think she did!
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I miss blogging. I do. It is doubly worse b/c I told Claire that I would do it more often for her birthday...but then I go a month without it.
I like getting on here and writing. I like popping over and checking out my online/real life friend Poop. I like catching up on the Maiden and getting my cooking tips from Bouillie. I also miss arguing with my old friend BSing.
So why am I not doing it? Well, working 10-15 hour days has something to do with it, but that really only started in November.
I think the biggest thing is I just don't feel like writing when I get home and I have a tough time remembering the things I want to write about during the day.
I really need to work on this.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
The House Before
Claire and I finally have the house settled and ready for prime time...well mostly. We still have some landscaping to do, would like to redo the kitchen and spruce up the floors, but we figure it is probably time to share some before and after shots...
Today, before...and no, none of the furniture is ours...also, every wall, ceiling and exposed wood in the house (Except for kitchen and basement) has been painted...
Today, before...and no, none of the furniture is ours...also, every wall, ceiling and exposed wood in the house (Except for kitchen and basement) has been painted...
 |
| Back Deck, just off the kitchen... |
 |
| When that day comes, this is probably what this room will look like. |
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| Dining room |
 |
| Front Entry, stairs and C's Office |
 |
| I guess you would call this the Hearth Room and Breakfast Nook |
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| Kitchen |
 |
| Living Room |
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| Front 1/2 of basement |
 |
| Back Half of Basement |
 |
| Storage room in basement |
 |
| Master Bath..notice the rough wallpaper |
 |
| Master Bedroom |
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| C's Office |
Thursday, November 25, 2010
So I was watching "Dancing with the Stars" and...
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Yea, I can't believe I said that either...Claire's parents and granddaddy are in KC with us for Thanksgiving and it was on my TV. I enjoyed being with the fam!
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Loving the full all day feeling today. Turkey and corn grits rock!!
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Claire made a really good pumpkin cream cheese pie. Wowza!
Had a nice cigar with granddaddy.
Life is good.
Happy Thanksgiving Y'all!!!
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Yea, I can't believe I said that either...Claire's parents and granddaddy are in KC with us for Thanksgiving and it was on my TV. I enjoyed being with the fam!
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Loving the full all day feeling today. Turkey and corn grits rock!!
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Claire made a really good pumpkin cream cheese pie. Wowza!
Had a nice cigar with granddaddy.
Life is good.
Happy Thanksgiving Y'all!!!
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Last Call for Hungry Men
I was reminded last week why I hate strongly dislike US Air.
I have flown on eight different flights with them this year (two round trips) and all eight have been at least 15 minutes late.
That of course means I have to do an OJ Simpson through the airport. It also meant that twice last week I had to hear "Final Boarding Call for Mr. Bogart. Mr. Bogart, please board your plane at gate *** or your seat will be forfeit."
Did I mention my employer had spent $1300 on a round trip ticket to Toronto and I had to pay another $10 when I checked in so I could avoid the last row window?
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My favorite part of the trip to Toronto? Well, probably getting to my hotel at 10:45pm and finding the kitchen closed. You see, since my connecting flight was late, I did not have a chance to eat at the airport. Since my flight into Toronto was late, I was unable to get to the hotel in time to get dinner from the kitchen. So, what did that mean for my dietary choices??? Well, I got to experience something that I had not had since college...
HUNGRY MAN FROZEN DINNER
Ah yea baby...Barbecue Surprise for Bogart. Booya. Take that GI Track.
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Despite the non-glorious parts of business travel, I do miss getting on the road once in a while though.
I have flown on eight different flights with them this year (two round trips) and all eight have been at least 15 minutes late.
That of course means I have to do an OJ Simpson through the airport. It also meant that twice last week I had to hear "Final Boarding Call for Mr. Bogart. Mr. Bogart, please board your plane at gate *** or your seat will be forfeit."
Did I mention my employer had spent $1300 on a round trip ticket to Toronto and I had to pay another $10 when I checked in so I could avoid the last row window?
-----
My favorite part of the trip to Toronto? Well, probably getting to my hotel at 10:45pm and finding the kitchen closed. You see, since my connecting flight was late, I did not have a chance to eat at the airport. Since my flight into Toronto was late, I was unable to get to the hotel in time to get dinner from the kitchen. So, what did that mean for my dietary choices??? Well, I got to experience something that I had not had since college...
HUNGRY MAN FROZEN DINNER
Ah yea baby...Barbecue Surprise for Bogart. Booya. Take that GI Track.
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Despite the non-glorious parts of business travel, I do miss getting on the road once in a while though.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Peeing into the Wind
Guys, what is the very first rule of life that your dad's taught you?
Okay...you are right, suck it in when a pretty girl walks by...but what is the second rule that you were taught?
That's right, don't pee into the wind...followed closely by rule numbertwo three...don't spit into the wind.
I realized today a rule I should have been taught, but due to being San Diego, I never was shown properly.
Rule number....uh, four...don't attempt to rake leaves in the wind.
Yes, a job that should have taken me 20 mins, lasted a little over an hour and it still looks crappy.
And getting worse because the leaves keep falling in the wind.
Yea, some Rhodes Scholar I am.
Okay...you are right, suck it in when a pretty girl walks by...but what is the second rule that you were taught?
That's right, don't pee into the wind...followed closely by rule number
I realized today a rule I should have been taught, but due to being San Diego, I never was shown properly.
Rule number....uh, four...don't attempt to rake leaves in the wind.
Yes, a job that should have taken me 20 mins, lasted a little over an hour and it still looks crappy.
And getting worse because the leaves keep falling in the wind.
Yea, some Rhodes Scholar I am.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Do you? Do you? Then you are!
Spent 5 days in Vegas last week for a conference and some College Football.
Spent the last 24-hours in Toronto, Canada for a 45-minute work meeting.
And that brings my travel for 2010 mostly to a close. I have one more trip to Atlanta coming up at Christmas, but that is all about family and fun...A wedding specifically.
And then in May I have another Wedding...
That follows on the heals of the two weddings (1 in New Orleans and 1 in VA) that I performed in October.
You can just call me the Minister for Hire...not quite as cool as Gun for Hire, but it is the best I can do.
Spent the last 24-hours in Toronto, Canada for a 45-minute work meeting.
And that brings my travel for 2010 mostly to a close. I have one more trip to Atlanta coming up at Christmas, but that is all about family and fun...A wedding specifically.
And then in May I have another Wedding...
That follows on the heals of the two weddings (1 in New Orleans and 1 in VA) that I performed in October.
You can just call me the Minister for Hire...not quite as cool as Gun for Hire, but it is the best I can do.
Monday, October 18, 2010
No really, I can do weddings in other States...oh wait, you are the Commonwealth.
So I went before the judge and he grilled me...full and total third degree. (Part 1 Here)
Bogart, please step forward.
So it says here you want to perform marriages in the Commonwealth of Virginia. Why?
Why would your friends want you to marry them?
Why would you fly from Missouri all the way to Virginia just to perform a wedding?
How did you meet the couple? What was your connection to Virginia Beach that made you move here and meet them? Why can't they find someone local to perform the ceremony?
What makes you think you should be allowed to marry people in the Commonwealth?
Have you performed weddings before?
And my personal favorite question that the judge asked me in the 20 minutes of grilling...
Are you in the military? Why not?
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Yes, those were all very real questions that were asked by a very real judge. No, it was not a joke, but I did look around, wondering if I was on some sort of hidden camera show.
Even the bailiff was shrugging his shoulders and mouthing "I DON'T KNOW" when I looked to him for moral support.
But wait...there's more...
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After 20 minutes of grilling 2 different law books and very awkward pauses the judge set forth his ruling...
"Mr. Bogart, it is clear that you are not qualified to perform marriage ceremonies in the Commonwealth of Virginia...however, I will allow you to perform one marriage for one day only. Now go downstairs and they will swear you in."
So, I got sworn in...to "Defend the Constitution of the United States and the Commonwealth of Virginia" and to perform the wedding duties to the best of my ability, so help me God...
Crazy.
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See if I ever go back to perform a wedding ceremony in that non-state.
Bogart, please step forward.
So it says here you want to perform marriages in the Commonwealth of Virginia. Why?
Why would your friends want you to marry them?
Why would you fly from Missouri all the way to Virginia just to perform a wedding?
How did you meet the couple? What was your connection to Virginia Beach that made you move here and meet them? Why can't they find someone local to perform the ceremony?
What makes you think you should be allowed to marry people in the Commonwealth?
Have you performed weddings before?
And my personal favorite question that the judge asked me in the 20 minutes of grilling...
Are you in the military? Why not?
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Yes, those were all very real questions that were asked by a very real judge. No, it was not a joke, but I did look around, wondering if I was on some sort of hidden camera show.
Even the bailiff was shrugging his shoulders and mouthing "I DON'T KNOW" when I looked to him for moral support.
But wait...there's more...
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After 20 minutes of grilling 2 different law books and very awkward pauses the judge set forth his ruling...
"Mr. Bogart, it is clear that you are not qualified to perform marriage ceremonies in the Commonwealth of Virginia...however, I will allow you to perform one marriage for one day only. Now go downstairs and they will swear you in."
So, I got sworn in...to "Defend the Constitution of the United States and the Commonwealth of Virginia" and to perform the wedding duties to the best of my ability, so help me God...
Crazy.
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See if I ever go back to perform a wedding ceremony in that non-state.
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