Cereal Makes Me Fat

Ever have one of those "Ah-Ha" moments?

I just had one.

The back story is that I eat fast. I never really understood why. I have a lot of people to blame. My buddy Craig and I used to get into speed eating contests. My siblings (all 5 of them) liked to steal food off big brother's plate. Sports waited for no man and I needed to finish faster so I could get back out and play. The list goes on and on.

I have tried all sorts of cures. Putting my fork down between bites, counting my chews and even counting to 10 before taking a bite before swallowing. All of them make my food cold and I don't enjoy eating when that happens.

This morning, however, I solved the mystery. It is cereal's fault.

I have been eating cereal regularly since I was a kid. Love me some Fruity Pebbles, Frosted Mini-Wheat's, Capt'n Crunch (Berries and PB variety in particular) and Lucky Charms.

All of those are not so good when soggy. So I eat them quickly.

It is the first meal of the day and has been for a long time.

That speed eating is tough to stop.

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Now that I have a logical scapegoat, I need to pitch it off a cliff.

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Today is my birthday. I am going to eat whatever I want, drink whatever I want, watch baseball, talk on the phone and slap my wife's butt...in other words, my birthday will be just like any other day.

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I calculate that 11/28th of my life is over...so yeah, I got that going for me.