Trip to South Louisiana

Death seemed certain...either for Sally or for me. One way or the other, someone was going to die and it would not be pretty.

As the makeshift bat hurdled through the air, I stopped to contemplate all the firsts that had happened in the previous 24-hours:

1. I cooked/boiled 250lbs of Crawfish.

2. I talked to someone with no teeth. It was wonderful. Claire's cousin Jim and I were getting wood for the bonfires and we went to this little house on the side of the road, picked up some wood, and then were handed the bill. The gal who handed us the bill was jabbering away in a very thick drawl about wood and oil prices (they have some oil rights and the "checks keep getting bigger") and the weather when she very matter of factly said "Oops, I forgot to put my teeth in". I just about lost it. It was already taking concentration to really understand everything she was saying, but it was made so much more difficult because now she had her hand covering her mouth and it took all the will power I could muster not to laugh. Seriously fantastic.

3. I feel like I ate 250lbs of Crawfish.

4. I made Pina Coladas by the gallon (3 gallons at a time to be exact) rather than by the glass or the pitcher.

5. I entered a dance contest (scheduled for Memorial Day) against 7 other guys. That poor decision might have been the result of the gallons of pina colada I consumed...yes, not just made, but consumed. Now I have to go work on finding moves that compliment the Helicopter, the Worm, the Sprinkler, and the Big Rig...

6. I rolled a full size 4-wheeler on top of myself...on flat ground...I still hold my head high because it rolled when I leaned too much and it came in on me rather than not leaning enough and tossing me off. That would have been a rookie mistake.

7. I lost a Crawfish peeling contest (in 60 seconds I took off 31 tails)...although my bowl fell over during the match, spilling the tails...I demand a recount.

8. I used a wooden paddle to hit an aluminum can into a creek...followed by another...then a potato (which did not make it into the water, but rather exploded into tiny little hash brown nuggets), which brings me back:

To where I began...See, there is a reason major league batters use pine tar on their baseball bats. It is sticky and usually keeps the bats in their hand. I, however, did not have the luxury of having pine tar, so the wooden paddle that had become a makeshift bat was spinning out of control like some sort of heat seeking missile. My mind had wandered to the things listed above, ensuring that no cries of "FOUR" or "HEADS UP!!!" or even "LOOK OUT!!!" could be yelled...but then, by force of nature, the paddle caught just a bit of up draft and sailed just an inch above Sally's head, avoiding certain death.

Sure, everyone sitting around the fire jumped and screamed, but Sally was alive and all was well.

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You may be wondering why I would have died...I did say that it was either going to be her or I that ended up with a toe tag...well, if that paddle had hit her in the head and she had not been instantly killed, she would have come after me. There is no doubt in my mind she could/would have taken me out.

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I will say that you have not been to a party until you have been to a crawfish boil. I need to export that tradition to P-Towne.

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I really love traveling with Claire. We can spend the day walking around cities, eating street food, ducking in and out of art shops, and generally finding little nooks and crannies of the cities. Sure, big museums, historic sights, and other tourist draws are fun, but it seems that our favorite times involve places we find because of the adventure we seek...I really like that.

So even though she and I were both pretty spent from our 3 days at the conference, we spent a couple of hours walking around New Orleans Friday and had a blast.

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As much as I love the extra daylight in the evening, that first Monday after the spring time change is brutal! I am generally a morning person, but I had a tough time getting going today.

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I think TSA plays tricks on passengers...a bottle of lotion opened in my bag on the flight home yesterday...not exploded, not cracked or broke, or even a simple leak...it was opened. The screw top was loosened and it poured out. I could understand it leaking from the cap or exploding, but the screw top coming undone seems weird.